Chapters (65)
- Cover
- Praise for the previous work of
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- 24 April 2018
- Part 1: Subject
- 15 June 1968
- 20 June 1968
- July 1968
- 2 February 2018
- Part 2: Light
- 20 November 1970
- 20 November 1970
- 21 November 1970
- November 1970
- 19 February 2018
- Part 3: Focus
- 15 April 1977
- 18 April 1977
- 15 May 1977
- July 1977
- 26 February 2018
- 8 March 2018
- 8 March 2018
- Part 4: Distance
- 15 May 1979
- 15 May 1979
- 16 May 1979
- June 1979
- 29 March 2018
- 29 March 2018
- 27 March 2018
- Part 5: Movement
- 18 October 1981
- 10 April 2018
- 18 October 1981
- 10 April 2018
- 18 October 1981
- 10 April 2018
- 18 October 1981
- 10 April 2018
- 10 April 2018
- 18 October 1981
- 10 April 2018
- October 1981
- Part 6: Exposure
- July 1984
- 5 September 1984
- 24 April 2018
- 25 April 2018
- Part 7: Developing
- 26 April 2018
- Vee, in the lost place, 1984
- 26 April 2018
- Epilogue
- 5 February 2019
- Author’s Note
- Acknowledgements
- Letter from Author
- Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
- For your Reading Group
- For discussion
- Select bibliography
- About the author
- Also by Stephanie Butland
Ursula, standing in the doorway, hesitates for half of a heartbeat before saying, ‘I think that will do.’ She’s changed out of her leggings and sweater into jeans, heels and a batwing top.
Leonie gives another tickle, but Erica has stopped laughing as suddenly as she started, her face its resting small and sober shape once more. Vee risks a final photograph but Ursula notices and holds out a hand, one finger pointing, towards Vee, without even looking at her. There’s enough authority in the gesture to make Vee rest her camera on her chest. Ursula hasn’t taken her eyes away from her sister and her daughter.
‘We’re just playing,’ Leonie says. Erica makes a move to get down – Vee can see her legs wiggling – but Leonie is holding her on her lap as though she is a shield.
‘Really?’ Ursula says. The sisters are looking intently at each other now, Leonie defiant, Ursula furious.
‘Really. I don’t see anything like enough of my . . .’ and Leonie plays the pause to perfection – ‘niece.’
‘Well, whose fault is that?’ Vee glances at Erica, whose face is all bemused resignation, somewhere between ‘not this again’ and ‘I wish someone would tell me what is going on’. It’s a strange look to see on a child. She fidgets on Leonie’s lap, realises her grip has loosened, and slides to the floor. She might actually be trying to head for Vee – or, more likely, her camera – but Ursula’s arm, still stretched out and pointing Vee to stillness, drops on to Erica’s head, pulls her towards her. Erica stands against her mother’s body, Ursula’s hand more than resting on her shoulder to keep her in place. ‘We’ll discuss this later.’
‘No, we won’t,’ Leonie says, ‘I’m going as soon as the photos are finished. I’ve better things to do with my day than listen to your bullshit, again.’
Ursula bends to Erica. ‘Come on, darling. We don’t want to listen to Aunt Leonie’s swearing, do we? This is part of why your daddy and I think she’s a bad influence.’
‘The lady with the camera said a bad word too,’ Erica says.
‘Woman,’ Vee and Leonie correct, in unison. Ursula ignores them.
‘Well, we really don’t want to listen to bad words.’
Leonie smiles at Erica, and Vee doesn’t know what’s coming, but she knows it won’t be pleasant. ‘You don’t look much like your daddy, do you, Erica? You should ask him about that sometime. Most children look at least a little bit like their father.’
For a second Vee is sure that Ursula will go for Leonie, slap her at least, and she’s damned if she will miss it, hands already raising her camera to her face. But Ursula turns away, propelling Erica in front of her: ‘Come on, we can get your dolls’ house out.’