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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

Vee has found a table in the corner. At the next table along sits a couple, hands joined, a copy of Love’s Labour’s Lost between them; Erica can only see the back of his head, but she is animated, laughing, saying something about apples. It’s cheering and depressing in equal measure. When did Erica last see a play, or hold Marcus’s hand over a table? (When did she want to?) And why is she even thinking about such things – such trivial things – when the woman opposite her is dying?

‘Your photographs,’ she says, because she needs to say something about them, ‘they are so important. To everyone.’ Not least because Vee pointed her camera, when she could, at the unnoticed, and the unimportant. That’s what makes her Greenham archive so special. Everyone who was there knew that they were all changing the world: Vee captured that like no one else. And those women in the shelters, beaten by their husbands, had no recourse to the law, but they had a record of what had happened to them with Vee’s unflinching images. Erica had almost cried when she’d unpacked the envelopes Vee had couriered over to her: contact sheets of unidentified women, photographed with bruises flowering across their faces. And more, from later, when Vee returned and took photographs when these victims were happy and whole again.

Vee makes a gesture that Erica has learned means ‘I choose not to engage with that’: a slight pushing out of the lower lip, a dip of the head a fraction to her left. Instead of replying, she asks, ‘And what did you think of your first taste of activism?’

‘It was – I can’t believe I did it. I’m the most law-abiding person there is.’

‘You look more cheerful than you have done all morning,’ Vee says, with a smile that tells Erica that it’s OK to not talk about dying.

Erica laughs, a release of tension as much as anything else. ‘It was weird. I was so angry when I thought that policeman was having a go. And the next thing I knew I was in handcuffs.’

‘They didn’t charge you, though?’

‘No.’ She often thinks of those few hours, the fear and the excitement, the waiting with the other women and the smell of old sweat and industrial cleaning fluid, but it’s nothing, really, in the scheme of what people like Vee and Leonie did. ‘It must all seem tame to you,’ she says.

‘I never got arrested,’ Vee says, ‘at least, I don’t think I did. There are – holes, I suppose you would call them, in my memories.’

‘Holes? That must be awful.’