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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

At the bar, Vee orders two pints of cider, bags of crisps and sausage rolls; her work for the day is done, but she doesn’t want to lose the afternoon, so one drink and some food to absorb it should be OK. She’ll take the film to the lab, and talk to the guys there about how she wants it developed. They know her well enough by now to make sure they don’t over-expose on the light, and they won’t try anything fancy. By and large, Vee shoots exactly what she wants. Occasionally – dark days, unpredictable indoor lighting, a flash bulb blown – she needs some tinkering done. There’s talk of colour magazines, not too far into the future, but Vee cannot imagine ever needing more than the tools she has: black and white film and natural light, flash when she must, and patience.

When she gets back to the table, Leonie is shoving something back in her bag.

‘So, what were you doing that was so funny, sister?’

Vee leans close. ‘Photographing Margaret Thatcher on Parliament Hill.’ She waits for the smile, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Leonie looks sad. The way her dad does when he waves her off on a Sunday.

‘You’ve been taking photos of Thatcher? You’re such a sell-out.’ Leonie isn’t wearing her customary outrage. Vee looks at her friend properly: she seems tired, and she’s different, somehow. Not bigger, or smaller, but there’s something that wasn’t there last time they saw each other. Or it could be that something is missing.

Vee shrugs. ‘Yes, I’m a sell-out. Or maybe I’m a role model for girls who want to be photographers.’ She takes a drink. ‘Do you want to know what happened?’

Leonie, shrugs, smiles. This is weird. Leonie is the least non-committal person Vee knows, has ever known, will ever know. She won’t be able to resist. She has always loved whatever the non-sexist, non-judgemental word for ‘gossip’ is.

Leonie opens the crisps, starts on the fresh pint. ‘Go on, then,’ she says, then, before Vee can say anything, ‘I’ve heard all the male MPs think she fancies them.’

‘That tells you a lot about what they think of themselves.’

‘And about how she operates.’

Vee has never, ever heard anything like this from Leonie before. ‘I know we don’t like her politics, Leonie, but what happened to sisterhood?’

Lately Vee has been fighting off a bit of male attention, and she knows for a fact that she does nothing to invite it. When she says no, she’s often accused of ‘sending out signals’. She doesn’t want any more love, of any kind. She’s come to the conclusion that, apart from her father and Leonie, there isn’t really anyone in the world that she’s that bothered about.