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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

‘Yes! I had to wait ages at the station. They took my stuff away and searched me and I got my fingerprints taken.’ Erica holds her fingers towards him, making wriggling stars of her hands, as though they are proof, although it was done on a screen, not with ink, so there’s no trace. ‘And my DNA. I asked if that was standard and they said it was. Then I rang a solicitor they gave me the number for, and she said she didn’t need to come in and the police wouldn’t do anything. Then I sat in an interview room for a bit.’

‘Wow.’ It’s not an admiring ‘wow’, but she pretends not to notice. She smiles. He doesn’t smile. His face is a sky of hurt with a brow of coming thunder.

‘Erica, I was worried before you came back. I’m even more worried now.’

And the bravado rushes out of her as suddenly as it rushed in. ‘I was scared.’ And she was, just for a few minutes, scared that being in the police station would stop being an adventure, a misunderstanding, a case of pissing off someone who didn’t, in that moment, need to be pissed off, and had the power to show it. She’d thought about miscarriages of justice, and whether she had to declare this on job applications. Wondered about the women who didn’t have the luxury of all the things that protected her, however much she didn’t want to believe that they did: money, skin colour, education.

Marcus half-smiles. ‘I would have been too,’ he says, ‘why didn’t you phone me? Tom and I would have broken you out.’

‘A woman came to talk to me, asked me what my involvement was, and I told her, and then she let me go.’

Marcus lays Tom on the sofa next to him and barricades him in place with a cushion. Erica scoots along the sofa to make room, crosses her legs. She can smell the fustiness of her sweated-in socks.

‘And what did Veronica do?’ he asks. ‘While all this was going on?’

‘She took my photograph. What else was she going to do?’

‘So it was a good day, huh?’