Back The Woman in the Photograph
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

Erica puts the medication boxes down next to Vee, and goes to the kitchen and pours a glass of water. Vee nods her thanks, takes the glass with a slightly shaking hand, and swallows some tablets with a practised jerk of the head. She steadies herself with a palm on the back of a dining chair, closes her eyes. ‘I don’t know whether my headaches ever go,’ she says, ‘or whether I’m just so used to them that I stop noticing.’

‘This one doesn’t seem as bad as the day we went to the gallery,’ Erica offers.

There’s almost a smile from Vee. ‘That wasn’t a headache. That was – an assault.’ The first assault of her last war. She puts a finger to her temple, gently, as though the very skin of her face is tender.

Erica is still standing; she isn’t sure what will happen now. She could go to the march on her own, of course she could. She’s not a child. But she doesn’t want to do it without Vee. She says, ‘Thank you for letting me look at the photos.’

‘What did you think of them?’

Maybe because Vee sounds as though she doesn’t care, or because her eyes are still closed, it’s easy for Erica to be honest. ‘I thought my aunt looks hostile in a lot of them. She seems to be spoiling for a fight.’

The fraction of a nod from Vee, the foreshadowing of a smile. ‘And does that surprise you?’

‘Not really. Like I said, I know her mainly by reputation. And her writing. Which was – is – pretty uncompromising.’

‘Hmm.’ It’s half-sigh, half-question.

In the peace of this room, talking becomes irresistible. Plus, Erica doesn’t really want to think about what those pills mean. ‘Her essay on abortion, in particular. Not the column, the piece in her book. That made me think. She was very clear. That it’s only a transaction. No more important than having a tooth out.’

Vee doesn’t give any sign that she’s listening. She doesn’t speak. And Erica can’t stop. ‘I remember when I was first pregnant. My mother died eighteen months before and it was only a year after we got married. It was so emotional. Leonie wrote rationally about abortion. It made me see how irrationally we think about babies. I can see why people wouldn’t like that kind of – of forthrightness.’ Erica herself had put down the iPad she was reading Leonie’s book on, her hand shaking, and looked across at Tom, who was sleeping on the sofa, battened in by cushions so he didn’t roll off and hurt himself, his perfect shells of ears sticking through the straight, soft hair that she cannot bear to have cut. She’d wondered whether, if she hadn’t had him, she might be less unhappy.