He’s thinking the same thing now as he looks at all the other kids in the park. Most of them are running across the jungle gym as if there’s no risk of falling and hurting themselves. There’s a boy on a bike that seems too big for him, but maybe he’ll grow into it. As the boy rides past Mateo, he takes a step back because Mateo knows good and well that he is not invincible.

“You don’t want to play?” Teo asks.

Mateo wants to, but he doesn’t know how to.

And he knows how to, but he doesn’t want to.

Actually, he wants to and he knows how to, but he doesn’t know how to get out of his head to do anything. He ends up just being stuck.

For someone who’s often praised for his kindness and generosity, Mateo sure can be his own worst enemy.

“I’m okay, Dad,” Mateo lies.

He doesn’t like making people feel bad, especially his father, who works so hard to give him a good life. But today has been difficult. From what he understands Death-Cast really wants people to live, but Mateo still can’t help but be confused about how much of life is now free will and how much of it is destined. Would people die if Death-Cast didn’t call? Are people now living recklessly because they’ve been told that tomorrow is still on the horizon for them? Or are the deaths set in stone? The questions hurt his brain, and not having an answer squeezes his heart.

While his father has given him a great life, Mateo must learn how to make his own. There’s no telling how much time either of them has—either Mateo will be right that he’s cursed to die young or his father will pass before him, just like it should be. He’ll never forget the first time he told Teo about the curse and how sad his father got at the idea of having to bury him.

Why can’t people live forever?

“Talk to me,” Teo says gently, like he’s inviting Mateo in and won’t be upset if he declines but wants his son to know that he’s here and would like his company.

Mateo watches everyone in the park with awe. All they’re doing is being themselves, and it’s still the most magical thing in the world. Why can’t Mateo cast those same spells?

“I just look at everyone, and I don’t know how to be like them.”

“I love that you’re you,” his father says. “You’re a special kid, Mateo.”

“You have to say that. You’re my dad.”