Why wouldn’t Dad let me do things like this? Was it really so dangerous? What did he think was going to happen? No one looked frightened or frightening. They all looked like they were having fun.

Why did I always have to stay at home?

After Fred had trounced me at two games, we went to the bar and ordered drinks – beer for him, Coke for me. He led me to a booth in the corner where we sat next to each other. He reached under the table and put his hand between my legs.

‘Fred!’ I exclaimed, looking around wildly. What if someone saw? He nuzzled my neck wetly.

‘Don’t worry, no one’s looking,’ he mumbled thickly, before adding, ‘You’re not like other girls, Laura.’

I felt like my stomach was falling away. I had been doing my best to be normal, to act like other girls my age, but I was quite clearly doing something wrong. It was hardly surprising though – I had no one to compare myself to. And I could see now that my clothes were all wrong. Boring. Too plain. The wrong colours. Everyone else looked better than me.

I squirmed away from him. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked. I could feel tears threatening.

He looked at the expression on my face and laughed, which made me feel even worse. He rolled his eyes.

‘Don’t look like that. It was meant to be a compliment. There’s no bullshit with you. You say what you mean, there’s no game-playing, you even,’ he leaned in closer, ‘let yourself do the things we both want to do without angsting about it all the way other girls tend to do.’ He leaned in even closer and kissed me, pushing his tongue into my mouth again. ‘Do you want to play another game or shall we …’

I really did want to play another game, it was so exciting to be out, but I didn’t say so. I could tell what Fred wanted now. And I wanted him to carry on wanting me. So I said what I thought he wanted to hear.

‘No. Bowling was fun, and it’s been amazing to come out, but let’s not play another game. Let’s go back now.’

We headed back to the house and settled down in our usual place at the bend of our drive on a blanket. I lay back and let him undress me.

‘Laura. Wake up.’

I opened my eyes. Fred’s face was above me as he shook my shoulder. ‘We must have fallen asleep. C’mon, you’d better get back, as had I.’

I sat bolt upright. ‘Oh God! What’s the time?’ I babbled as I leapt up, jamming my boots onto my feet and hoicking my jacket back on.

‘It’s about three,’ Fred said, looking at his watch.