I take his hand. ‘You were a child. It wasn’t your fault. It probably would have happened anyway, whether you were there or not. You were seven years old! It’s not as if you could have done anything.’

He is looking at the ground and there is silence between us. I think I see him surreptitiously wipe away a tear and then look up. ‘Mum’s sent me to masses of counsellors over the years and they all say the same. That it wasn’t my fault. But a part of me still blames myself. A large part.’

‘Please don’t. You mustn’t. You’re making me feel bad.’

‘I’m sorry. That’s the last thing I want to do. This is my issue, not yours. But now you’re back, I’m going to make sure I look after you properly.’

He drops my hand and jumps up to standing. I shade my eyes from the sun as I look up at him.

‘Anyway. That’s all in the past now,’ he says, his tone suddenly much more upbeat. ‘I’ve got an idea about something we can do together, to get to know each other again, and it doesn’t even involve going out, so it’ll keep Mum happy. Over the summer, I’m going to teach you to dance.’

23

August 2013

Catford

I’d assumed there’d just be a manky old cellar at the bottom of the house like there was when I lived with Dad, so I hadn’t yet been down the stairs by the kitchen door. I didn’t want the family to feel like I was prying into their lives or going anywhere I shouldn’t be, so I generally kept to my room, the kitchen and the TV room and didn’t go anywhere else unless I was specifically invited to. Not that there was anywhere else, as far as I knew. So I’m surprised when I follow Jesse down the stairs to find what looks like a dance studio.

‘Wow, I had no idea this was here,’ I say. It’s a lot smaller than the ones I’ve seen on TV, with only tiny windows right at the top that you can’t even see out of, but there are huge mirrors on the walls on three sides of the room, a barre at waist height along one and a massive speaker in the corner.

‘Yep, Mum and Dad were quite the dance floor king and queen a long time ago,’ he says. ‘They ran a little dance school for kids here for a while. It all stopped when Dad left, just after you were taken. I don’t think Mum could manage it on her own. Or maybe she didn’t want to, what with everything else. I don’t know.’