Every time I see him now, I am constantly painting a picture of how perfect life in the Caribbean will be, the beach bar we can buy, or the playboy lifestyle he can live wherever he chooses. But in spite of my efforts, all he keeps going on and on about is how his dreams are messed up with images of Stuart’s face staring up at him when he opened that mortuary drawer and the sound he made when he went in the grinder. I hope I can still rely on him, but I’m becoming less and less sure of it. I hope he isn’t going to do anything stupid.

‘I’ve still got the bag I used to come on board with Rick,’ I tell Jesse, holding up a battered canvas holdall, ‘so you can use that to get me off the ship again. The only thing we need to plan carefully is when and how I’m going to sneak into your lovely suite without anyone seeing me. I’m quite excited about spending some time in it while you do your “packing”.’

That elicits a small smile. I guess the old Jesse is in there somewhere – I’ll have to do all I can to bring him out of himself.

‘I can take you up on a cleaning trolley like I did with Stuart,’ he says. ‘We can cover you in sheets. Better to do it in the daytime as I’d have no reason to be doing my job at night. Hiding in plain sight and all that.’

‘Clever Jesse. Yes, that makes sense. Once we know when Leo’s arranged your transfer to land, we’ll do that.’

His face brightens. ‘First day of the rest of our lives and all that.’ Though he still doesn’t sound convinced.

I wonder again if he is having doubts. I push the thought away. I’ve done all I can.

73

Antonio

14 February 2022, 21:00

The Caribbean

The crew throw me a leaving party. It’s absolutely the last thing I want – I would much rather leave unobtrusively and without anyone asking any more questions, to get away, to lie low for a while.

The party seems so out of step with the current mood of the ship to the point of being entirely inappropriate. But it wasn’t my idea – I’m not even sure whose idea it was – so it seems rude not to go along with it.

Rumours are rife, as usual. Some are now saying that Rick and Stuart were a couple and the deaths were some kind of murder-suicide thing. Others are sticking to the original theory put about when Rick was found dead that it was a sex game gone wrong, or that he was a drug dealer who pissed someone off. The more hysterical are suggesting a serial killer and the more superstitious, some kind of demon or curse.