Some of the things that have disappeared are a bit strange, not the kind of thing someone would steal just because they’ve got midnight munchies. Entire roast chickens have gone missing several times. Bags of uncooked potatoes. Enormous tubs of mayonnaise. Butter and cream. It’s a pain for me as I have meal plans and suddenly I have to think of something else if I don’t have enough ingredients, though I am used to being flexible. But the bigger worry is that whoever has been taking things clearly doesn’t know how to operate the fridge door properly and keeps leaving it so that it swings open, which could be disastrous. The last thing we want on board is food which isn’t properly stored and a bout of food poisoning. I know this better than anyone, and so I’m particularly paranoid about it.

I asked Bill if I could have a look at the CCTV to see what was happening but it’s not running everywhere because they’re in the process of installing a new system. But he said he could switch on some relevant cameras and keep an eye. Meantime I have stuck a passive-aggressive note on the fridge door saying Please do not take food without permission and another which says Please keep the door closed at all times on pain of death. I could go to Leo but I don’t really want to get anyone in trouble unnecessarily. I just want them to stop taking my stuff.

61

Antonio

5 February 2022, 12:00

The Caribbean

Doctor Stuart has asked me to come and see him. His is far and away the nicest doctor’s surgery I’ve ever been in.

Both the chairs we are sitting in are Eames, or at least, Eames-style – I wouldn’t know the difference. Seeing a doctor on board is a very different experience to seeing a doctor on the NHS. Passengers pay for the privilege, emergency or not, so I guess Heracles provides luxe surroundings to help justify the no doubt huge charges passengers pay for their consultations. Behind Stuart there is a view of the sea through a huge window and on the walls, several prints of Damien Hirst’s diamond-encrusted skull and a poster depicting his famous Pharmacy installation, as well as various similarly themed posters which look as though they’re by the same artist.

I had assumed Stuart simply wanted to ask me how I was feeling after my last visit to his surgery, and had prepared answers accordingly, so I wouldn’t panic and say something I shouldn’t. I was planning to say I was feeling much better now, I’d been doing some meditation and practising mindfulness, coming to terms with life without Lola and that there wasn’t anything I needed to talk to anyone about.

But as it turns out, that isn’t what he wants. ‘I had the DNA test results back from the lab,’ he says.