Is it someone who knows what I did? It must be the same person that left the note. That said they knew what I’d done.

But what am I supposed to do now? And what will happen next?

I wish Lola was here. She would know what to do.

12

Antonio

15 January 2022, 10:00

The Caribbean

‘Thank you for coming to see me today, Antonio,’ the superintendent says. ‘First, may I say how sorry I am for your loss.’

I nod, a lump already in my throat. I’m so nervous. ‘Thank you,’ I say hoarsely.

‘I understand that you and the, erm, missing woman, shared a cabin. Is that correct?’

‘Yes. That’s right.’ I feel sweat beading on my forehead. Calm down, I tell myself. Just answer the questions and don’t offer any extra information. He doesn’t know anything. There’s no way he could, I tell myself.

‘And when was the last time you saw her on the night of her disappearance? Can you remember?’

‘It would have been about nine o’clock, I think.’

‘Nine o’clock in the evening?’

‘Yes.’ I notice that I am jiggling my knee up and down and will myself to stop. I’m making myself look guilty, I know I am. He makes a note. I take a deep breath. Calm down, calm down.

‘And how did she seem then?’

‘She was … upset.’ I’ll need to tell him that. Other people will have seen her. I think. Won’t they?

He makes another note. Fuck. ‘I see,’ he says. ‘Did she tell you why she was upset?’

I shake my head. ‘No.’ I feel myself go red. Shit. Can he tell I’m lying? ‘She wouldn’t tell me. But then she didn’t turn up for the show, which is when I knew that something was seriously wrong.’

‘That’s not typical behaviour for her? Not the kind of thing she’d done before?’

‘No. Lola, she liked to mess around and all that but … she’d always turn up for the show. She loves performing.’ I pause. ‘Loved.’

Tears come to my eyes and I wipe them away. ‘I think she must—’

‘We don’t deal in speculation here, just facts, please,’ he interrupts me.

‘She had tried to hurt herself before, so it’s possible that …’ I say. Oh God. This is so awful. My poor Lola. What did I do to you?

He nods. ‘So I understand. Is there anything else you want to tell me which you feel may be pertinent to the investigation?’

‘She … no.’ Should I tell him about the clothes? Would that help Lola?

No. She is gone. It would only complicate things. If I told him about the clothes, I’d have to tell him about the note, that someone knows what I did, and surely that would only lead on to …