I’ve dressed up for the occasion – it’s probably a bit over the top, but I’m in a Vampire’s Wife dress I was given by a very rich client as a thank you for a particularly good dinner party I catered. It’s about the first time I’ve been out of chef’s scrubs or pyjamas since I joined the ship. I’m looking forward to a night away from the kitchen, eating the best quality food, carefully prepared by my sous chefs and served by fawning waiters. What’s not to like? I hope Nico arrives soon; it’s a bit awkward making small talk with Leo by myself – he’s not exactly known for his conversational skills and neither am I. I’m always more comfortable in the kitchen than at the table.

TopSail is the smartest restaurant on board by far and is at almost the highest point of the ship, accessed by a dedicated glass lift. The sixty-cover dining room (tiny for a ship of this size for that extra exclusive feel) has huge windows which go all the way round and, in a somewhat retro way, revolves.

Tonight I’m also taking the opportunity to check how the restaurant appears from a client’s point of view, as I almost never get to do that. Chefs should eat in their own restaurants, but we don’t. We never have the time.

‘Nico, how lovely to see you,’ gushes the hostess, a young woman in a tight, floor-length dress covered in black sequins, as Nico steps through the door. All guests in this restaurant are greeted by name – the staff are sent pictures with their bookings to make sure they get them right. Where possible, there are also a few biographical details so the waiters and hosts can do bespoke schmoozing, plus a list of their foodie likes and dislikes to make sure everything is catered to their personal tastes.

‘Your table is ready for you. Captain Leo and Alice are already here,’ she tells him. ‘Please follow me.’

We stand as Nico arrives at the table and both shake his hand. ‘I’m so pleased you could join me for dinner tonight, Leo, Alice,’ Nico says. ‘I appreciate it. I won’t keep you long – I’m sure you have other people to see. And you should be able to enjoy your New Year’s Eve, of course.’

We sit down and a waiter offers us a choice of various types of bread, all freshly baked on site today. I choose walnut and he places it on my side plate with tongs.