‘You’re no fun,’ Lola grumbles. ‘We already know this routine inside out. Why do we need yet another dress rehearsal? There are so many better things we could be doing.’ She yawns theatrically. ‘Like sleeping, for one.’

Jamie gestures at the iPad again. ‘Health and safety, Lola, as you well know. Periodically we have to check the harnesses, and that everything’s still all in sync with the app.’ He looks her up and down. ‘In case you’ve lost weight. Or put it on. Or—’

‘Rude!’ she cries good-naturedly. ‘How dare you suggest I’ve put on weight?’

I see him try to stifle a smile. He is trying to be strict but no one can ever resist Lola. Everyone loves her.

‘You know very well that I’m not suggesting anything,’ he says. ‘I just want to keep the Safety Officer off my back, and check that you’re not going to come crashing down on some poor unfortunate audience member’s head, or be accidentally slammed into the wall or floor. Unless that’s what you want, of course.’

Bit unnecessary, the violent imagery, I think. All three of us know these are basically box-ticking exercises.

Lola bites her lip and pulls an exaggerated look of contrition. ‘No, Jamie,’ she says in a little-girl voice. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t want that. I’ll be good now, I promise.’

He nods. ‘Glad to hear it,’ he says. ‘So, if you’re ready to behave professionally, Lola, we’ll get all the checks out of the way, and then you can go back to sleep or do whatever you want to do. Antonio – you ready too?’

‘Yup, ready to go.’

Jamie jabs at the screen, the music starts and our two harnesses rise slowly on either side of the stage as we grip the purple silk drapes which rise with them. I hold the fixed position we take at the beginning of the performance, secured only by one foot and one hand wrapped into the silk, and Lola rises in a mirrored position, only she is twirling her free hand and foot sarcastically, flicking Jamie vees and wiggling her hips from side to side. Jamie sighs and turns away from her. He probably has other things he’d rather do than be here faffing around with the harnesses, but it’s his neck on the line if anything goes wrong.

As we reach the top, the music changes and we let go of the silks. The harnesses also drop slightly at the very same moment, as if we are about to fall, which always draws shocked gasps from the audience. In their absence, Lola calls out a silly ‘ooooohhhhhh’, performs an unscheduled somersault and pulls a stupid face as our two harnesses make us ‘fly’ to meet in the middle, where we perform our dance, several metres above the stage.