But it’s about the worst sound in the world – no doubt designed that way so you can’t simply stay in bed and ignore it as I would otherwise be hugely tempted to do – plus there are massive bollockings and even punishments for anyone who doesn’t take them seriously, even when we all know they’re going to be a waste of time. It’s almost certainly not a real emergency, but there is an outside chance that it may be an official drill; according to legend, it wouldn’t be the first time Captain Leo’s decided to do one in the middle of the night when there are no passengers on board.

I grab my life jacket and shuffle along the corridor in my slippers to our muster point – with the reduced numbers on board, we have just one. I’m hoping that they’re not going to carry it through and make us put on immersion suits and board a lifeboat (again, not unheard of for Captain Leo’s drills, apparently) because I’m not exactly dressed for it, still in my PJs.

It’s clear that everyone else is of the same opinion. No one is exactly rushing, and it takes a while for everyone to arrive and touch in with our key cards. On the way I notice a few people slipping out of rooms they shouldn’t be. Safety Officer Bill is the only one fully dressed and looking properly awake – he’s smartly dressed, brandishing an iPad officiously and wearing a fluorescent tabard. Everyone else is bleary-eyed and wearing something hastily chucked on or in their pyjamas. At least I don’t feel out of place.

A few minutes later, as it seems like the trickle of people turning up has petered out into nothing, the muster siren is finally turned off and there is a collective sigh of relief. Bill peers at his iPad.

‘Right. Two missing. Rick from engineering and Antonio from housekeeping.’

My kitchen staff all seem to be here, thank God. I don’t want to have to be disciplining someone for not turning up for this or, even worse, be a man or woman down if they decide to sack someone.

Both Bill and Leo take the drills very seriously. They won’t let Rick and Antonio off lightly for not bothering to get out of bed. I’m not that surprised at Rick not being here – he’s a lazy bugger and likes to think of himself as a bit of a rebel – but I’m surprised not to see Antonio. He usually toes the line.