Of course, I do see the younger passengers in my surgery too on occasion, usually because of drunken injuries of one sort or another. There aren’t too many of them, because a cruise ship is almost like a giant soft play centre – it’s pretty difficult to hurt yourself unless you’re doing something really stupid. And one of my deputies usually deals with the crew, their kitchen injuries, their broken fingers when they get into fights and, now and again, their STIs. That guy Rick, for example, has got through pretty much every venereal disease I learned about at medical school, and quite possibly some that I didn’t.

On a lay-up like this, I don’t anticipate having anything much to do at all. My presence is a legal requirement, but the crew members are all young and healthy – mainly under thirty, bar Captain Leo, who is a robust old sea dog and has never visited my surgery. And there’s only a comparatively small number on board, the troublemakers having already been weeded out and not selected to stay on for the lay-up, so I’m not expecting many fights or alcohol-related injuries. Plus everyone has more space and less work to do than usual, both of which help keep the stress levels, illnesses and accidents down. Instead, I’m spending my time sunbathing, enjoying a bit of afternoon delight with Alice the chef, and the odd sweetie from my medicine cabinet when I find myself dwelling on what happened back in the UK too much. Everyone is pretty bored already, so you have to take your pleasures where you can.

Antonio came to see me yesterday. He said he’s feeling ‘anxious’ after Lola’s disappearance and wondered if I had anything herbal he could take. I wrote him a script and told him I could give him a few benzos to keep him going, but he shook his head and said he didn’t want to be dependent on anything like that.

So instead I did my sympathetic doctor’s spiel of asking him if he had any friends on board he could talk to, suggesting some breathing exercises or some CBT when he was back on land. There’s nothing too wrong with him, in my opinion, he’s just grieving. I think he’ll be OK.

Lola, on the other hand, was a totally different matter. She went through those drugs as if they were Smarties. Pretty girl. After that one night we spent together, shortly after I joined the ship, I had a look at her medical form before deciding to steer well clear in future. And, indeed, to behave in a manner more befitting my profession.