I don’t know what to say. I wonder if she’s been taking her medication properly but now clearly isn’t the time to ask.

‘My teenage hormones though, obviously they developed as normal, as they would in any healthy young girl,’ she continues, ‘and they really liked the way my body felt when Rick did what he did to me. How it felt when he touched me. But with the benefit of hindsight, everything we ever did was all on his terms. We had sex every which way he wanted and when I couldn’t get out to see him, he’d get me to talk dirty to him. He gave me a phone especially for that reason. I was fifteen, a child, and an extremely unworldly child at that, due to being kept at home by Dad. I didn’t know any better, didn’t know that what he was doing to me was wrong. He wasn’t just a rapist but a paedophile too. He deserved everything he got from me, and more.’

What? How can this Fred and Rick both be the same person?

‘Lola, I still don’t get—’ I start, but she interrupts me.

‘I talked a lot about what Fred did to me in the therapy that your mum and the social worker made me go to. I didn’t want to, but he insisted it would help. Now that I look back on it, I wonder if the therapist was getting off on it too, my descriptions of what Fred liked me to do to him on the three or four times we met. The stuff he used to like me to talk about on the phone while I basically wanked for him. I thought I was doing it for me but I wasn’t, it was all for him. I was a child – I didn’t know what I was doing.’

She wipes her eyes and starts pacing the room, clearly becoming more agitated. ‘I went out into the garden that night to meet him because he wanted me to suck his cock.’ she shouts. ‘Then Dad found out and I ran away, trying to find Fred. Rick. So I can only assume, as did the police, that Dad knew it would come out that he had abducted me and I would be taken away from him. He would go to prison. Rather than face all that, he killed himself, and thus I am the total fuck up you have before you today. If Rick had never turned up and asked me to do that stuff with him, which he should never have done, none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have run away and Dad wouldn’t have died. It’s not rocket science.’