‘Jhanvi, put that thing down. We need to talk,’ my dad said sternly. His tone warned me not to challenge him.

‘Or what, Dad? You’ll have me committed a thousand kilometres away? Shoved in a room and put on medication while a panel of doctors tries to figure out why my mind is broken? I’m sure that will do wonders for your reputation.’ I rolled my eyes. My mom reached out and took my phone from my hand.

‘Jhanvi, we really do need to talk.’ I looked up, ready to fight. I felt like I was being caged in, reminded of my imperfections.

‘All anyone does in this family is talk, nobody ever listens,’ I said calmly.

‘We’re listening now,’ she said, genuine concern on her face. For a moment, I contemplated not saying anything, telling them to leave and allowing them time to cool down, but my mom was right. We did need to talk, and it was my turn.

‘My whole life I have been expected to be perfect.’

‘Jhanvi, that isn’t true,’ my dad interrupted.

‘But it is, Dad. Hide my emotions, don’t cry in public, no physical touching when there were friends around, and you always had friends around. I was your damned accessory. Your pretty, perfect doll that you could put away when everyone went home. You never loved me! Never showed me you loved me, and it hurt, every damned day of my life. You want to know why I need to be perfect all the time? It’s because you programmed me that way. Because if I was perfect, if I did just one thing right in your eyes, then maybe, just maybe, you would love me. But I had to almost die for Mom to even hold my hand, and you still haven’t touched me, have you, Dad?’ His brows furrowed deeply, my words once again causing pain. Why did I do this? Why couldn’t I just go back to the days of turning a blind eye? Back to before Puneet.

My dad lifted himself off the couch and kneeled down at my feet. ‘My sweet child, you think we don’t love you? That I don’t love you?’ I nodded my head, stubborn in my conviction. ‘Jhanvi. The day you were born is still the best day of my life, and every milestone, every success, we are behind you, telling everyone how proud we are of you. I was raised in a different time, Jhanvi, in a time when you didn’t show love through physical affection. For me, love was always about praise. If I knew,’ his voice choked, ‘if I knew that all you needed was for me to reach out and hold you once in a while, I would have done it.’