‘So, you’re relinquishing control more often then?’ I shrugged, knowing this was what he was aiming for. Our last few sessions had been all about my need to control almost every aspect of my life. ‘Jhanvi, I don’t think you’re allowing Kavya to control your schedule or your life. I think you feed her the information you want her to hear so that she can fit you into a schedule you already have in mind. And if something goes wrong? Well, then you don’t have to take responsibility for it because you have Kavya to fall back on.’ I sat open-mouthed, unable to talk. ‘Think about it,’ he said and looked at his watch. ‘We’ll discuss it at our next session.’ I walked out of his office, confused, perhaps angry. In the waiting room, the man who couldn’t breathe sat reading some papers. I smiled at him; he had become a regular feature in my life, and it was good to see that he seemed to be improving. This was the third session he had been able to walk into the office without having to take his pills.

‘Would you like to meet me after your session for coffee?’ I asked, inwardly shocked at myself for doing something so rash. He stared at me, unsure of how to respond. ‘I mean, no strings attached, I just thought it might be nice to have a friend who understands all of this.’ I turned around to leave.

‘No, sorry,’ he said as he stood up from the couch. ‘It’s just, this kind of thing doesn’t happen all that often. I’m Ashray.’ He extended his hand. I shook it, expecting his palms to be damp, but they weren’t, and he didn’t break eye contact with me.

‘Jhanvi. I’ll see you outside in forty-five minutes,’ I said and waved bye, still shocked at my actions but not regretting that I may have made a new friend.

30. ASHRAY

30

ASHRAY