‘What is this?’ My mom was the first to speak. Kavya mouthed that she was sorry. I knew that she hadn’t had the time to clean up my mess, but part of me thought that perhaps she had left it this way to show them how out of control I was.

‘I was busy, Mom,’ I whined, trying to use every tactic I used to when I was a teenager. It didn’t work.

‘Jhanvi, this is unacceptable.’ I felt like I was seven again. My dad shook his head at me, unable to hide his disappointment.

‘How did it get this bad?’ he asked me. I shrugged, not knowing what to say.

‘You will come to Delhi with us, this cannot be allowed to continue.’ I looked up at him, mouth open.

‘Dad, no! You two cannot come into my home and start dictating to me how to live my life!’ I didn’t know why I was suddenly comfortable letting them know how I felt. ‘I’m an adult, and you have absolutely no authority over what I do or do not do anymore.’

‘I’ll be in the kitchen,’ Kavya said, trying to escape the tension that was mounting.

My mom sat down on the couch, pushing aside a pile of clothes. I sat on the opposite side of the room, scanning the area where my body had lain fighting to survive a few days earlier.

‘There are good doctors in Delhi, Jhanvi, doctors who can fix this,’ my mom said, trying to reassure me that they weren’t attacking me. But, as always, it felt like a personal attack.

‘Fix what, Mom? Me? I’m not broken. I was busy. Distracted. I made a mistake, and I will rectify it.’ I tried to hide my hurt at what was said.

‘We are not saying you are broken, Jhanvi, but something is wrong. This,’ she threw her arms around, wildly gesturing at the room, ‘this is not normal! You need help!’

‘You don’t get it! You never have, because you don’t listen to me.’

‘We always listen to you,’ my dad interjected, hurt by my words.

‘No, Dad, you don’t. You come here after finding out that I almost died, and your solution is to tell me that I am broken and I need to come back to Delhi to be fixed.’ I was met by their gazes on either side of me, not knowing if what I said caused them pain or if they were angry at me for finally saying what was on my mind. Either way, I was tired and needed to get my life back. There were commitments to be met, and I was sure that although my sponsors would understand to begin with, soon they would find someone to replace me. ‘This is pointless,’ I said, reaching for my phone.