‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ I said, hoping to cut the conversation short before it could begin.

‘But I think there is. Why did her leaving make you feel the way you did?’

‘Isn’t it normal to feel heartbroken when someone you love rejects you?’

‘Rejection is a strong word, Ashray. Why do you feel that she rejected you specifically?’

‘Well, she isn’t here, is she?’ I shot back, irritated with his line of questioning.

‘But did she reject you or did she choose to avoid conflict with her parents? How do you know that her pain wasn’t just as real as yours?’ I stared at him, unwilling to answer his question. ‘Ashray, do you understand that choosing to obey her parents’ wishes does not mean she rejected you. It just means that she made a choice for her life. A choice that possibly meant an incredible amount of sacrifice for her.’

‘She didn’t even contact me after the night she broke up with me. Not once!’ I shouted.

‘Anger is good, Ashray but don’t you think it is misplaced?’ I didn’t think it was. I thought I was completely justified in being angry with her. ‘There are no right or wrong answers, Ashray.’

‘No. No, I don’t think that my anger is misplaced! She left me. Used me while she tried to decide whether she would obey her parents, and when she decided it was too difficult to love me without their approval, she threw me away. Like a piece of rubbish. A broken toy. She threw me away, just like—’ I cut off, not wanting to speak about it anymore.

‘Just like who?’ I shook my head. Not prepared to go any further. ‘Just like who, Ashray?’ He leaned forward in his chair. He did that when he knew we were getting somewhere.

‘Just like my mother, okay?’

‘Good, Ashray. That is progress, and I think it is enough for today.’ I nodded, irritated that our session had ended with me having to rehash my feelings of rejection once again. Especially since I was meeting Jhanvi after my session.

‘Thanks,’ I said, walking towards the door. ‘I’ll see you next week.’ I walked out of the office and into the reception area to make my next appointment. On the couch, a young woman sat, crouched over, rocking. I smiled. So much could change in a short amount of time, and not all of it was bad.

31. JHANVI

31

JHANVI