“Well, it added to my guilt. Because even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I still felt guilty for not standing up for my brother.” She glances at her palm, the scar, that he has never asked about or noticed, or maybe has noticed but never asked about. “I was devastated. To be honest, on top of everything else I’ve been struggling with, it almost pushed me over the edge.”

She pauses expecting some sort of reaction from him, but he only keeps blinking at the floor, so she goes on.

“If our places had been switched, you know I would’ve stood up for you. Right then and there. Like always.”

Isn’t it typical for men to wax lyrically about fighting for a woman’s honour in songs and poems, only to fall short when the time comes to transmute words into actions. Isn’t it often the case that women are the actual protectors, while receiving no credit for being strong and steadfast, loyal and devoted, to everyone but themselves.

“Look, I don’t know why I reacted the way I did. I don’t why I didn’t say something back then.”

She stares at him, unblinking. “You did say something, Nirav. You told me I was selfish. Selfish for wanting my brother’s memory to be treated with dignity. All I have left is his memory.”

“It’s just a big misunderstanding. No one’s shunning Sunil. My family just didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“Embarrass me? They did worse than embarrass me, Nirav.”

“They didn’t want you to have to face the community and feel, you know, ashamed or anything.”

“Ashamed of what?”

“Sunil…taking his own life.”

“I’m not ashamed of that.” But something else is clear to her now. “I’ve never been ashamed of Sunil. But your family assumes that I am, because to them there’s something to be ashamed about. Is that right?”

“Not my immediate family, no. But you know what community gossip can be like. My family figured they see us so infrequently, it would be easier on them to—”

“Not be associated with something so shameful? To save face?”

“It sounds so harsh when you put it like that.”

“What else could it be? How long have you known about this?”

“It came up a while back.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me? After our last blowout, you didn’t think I might want to know?”

“Well, you haven’t brought it up since then. I thought you were over it.”

“I’ll never get over it, Nirav. I will never forget this. Do you understand that?”

He rolls his lips and they disappear into his mouth.

“I haven’t brought it up until now because after getting shutdown so many times, it’s taken me this long to muster up the courage. Besides, I shouldn’t have to chase down explanations, let alone apologies.”