Although Kavita hears the words, she doesn’t understand their meaning, as though Nisha Auntie has suddenly switched to Bengali. She must have misheard.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your brother,” Nisha Auntie repeats. “How is his health? Will he be marrying soon? I know some nice girls.”

Before Kavita has a chance to respond, a hand claws her elbow and thrusts her out of the room. In the solitude of the foyer, Mrs. Stone whispers deeply into her ear, “No one knows about him.”

Then she leaves.

14.

Minutes pass. The sounds of the house fall to the background of Kavita’s shock. All she can hear are the senseless words spinning inside her head, over and over, and over and over.

What was happening? How could they not know about Sunil’s passing? Why did Mrs. Stone rush off without explaining?

Part of her has an urgent need to tell Nirav what has happened. See his eyes bulge and the symmetry of his face screw with confusion. Hear him voice all the questions that are spinning inside her skull. But he is still anesthetising his feelings with the men, and after her shame-faced retreat, she can’t bring herself to breach their clubhouse again.

The other part of her wants to hide.

“Kavita!” Mrs. Stone summons.

Oh no.

“Kavita?”

I can’t go back in there.

“Ka-vi-ta!”

I need to get out of here.

15.

“Kavita!” There is no escape. “Don’t just stand in the hallway, dear!”

Nor any confession of sin.

Her legs feel numb. How can she stumble back into that room and pretend something very wrong didn’t just happen? What if someone else asks about Sunil? Is she supposed to tell them in passing that he died months ago? Or worse, pretend he is still alive? She doesn’t know what to do. And there is nowhere else to go.

She suddenly realizes she is shaking. She balls her hands into fists to squeeze the quake into submission.

That is the moment she notices a deep emptiness, cold and spherical, like a hollow globe of ice, behind her navel, where she has been looted of something—something important. What was it? How does she get it back? What is the cold space that has replaced it, as frigid, lightless, and lonely as a den made of snow.

This can’t be happening, she thinks. None of this makes sense.

The den of snow is limitless; its chill, endless.

She wraps her arms around her stomach.

She is alone with it.

Alone.

16.

When her name is called again, Kavita knows there is no other choice but to go back into the room. She stabs her nails into the scar on her palm. Forgive me, Bear, she begs him, hoping he will understand.

Once in the front room, she leans against the wall beside Maya, which somehow feels like a less hostile place than it did earlier.