BooksBarbecue
Back Side by Side Save as PDF
Chapters (50)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Half Title Page
  3. SIDE by SIDE
  4. Dedication Page
  5. Epigraph
  6. Part I: Fall
  7. 1.
  8. 2.
  9. 3.
  10. 4.
  11. 5.
  12. Part II: Crawl
  13. 6.
  14. 7.
  15. 8.
  16. 9.
  17. 10.
  18. 11.
  19. 12.
  20. 13.
  21. 14.
  22. 15.
  23. 16.
  24. 17.
  25. 18.
  26. 19.
  27. 20.
  28. 21.
  29. 22.
  30. 23.
  31. 24.
  32. 25.
  33. 26.
  34. 27.
  35. 28.
  36. 29.
  37. 30.
  38. 31.
  39. Part III: Rise
  40. 32.
  41. 33.
  42. 34.
  43. 35.
  44. 36.
  45. 37.
  46. 38.
  47. 39.
  48. 40.
  49. Acknowledgements
  50. About the Author

She wanted to say all of that. Yell it. Stand up for Sunil. But she didn’t. When was she going to learn? When was she going to become a better person? The kind of person that did what needed to be done and said what needed to be said, at the right time, and the right place, when it mattered.

Anchor pulled, pulled, pulled.

Yes, she agreed with it. She was failing him, again.

Shortly after that, the weather grew damp and autumn quickly sloped from vibrant rhapsody to grim decay. As if synchronizing with the season, Kavita went into hibernation like the skeletal trees outside her bedroom window.

She stopped going for walks, or changing out of her pyjamas, she even stopped smoking. She lost interest in chasing Chi, and Nirav, and the world in general. Nothing seemed to matter outside the cave of sorrow that had domed around her, rock by rock.

She cooked but only because it was for someone else. Ate mouthfuls here and there but nothing substantial. Tried to read but couldn’t focus. Attempted to ease the ache in her back with heating pads and Advil but found no relief. Napped to make up for her insomnia but grew too afraid of her nightmares.

She relived losing Sunil many times each day.

Beneath her mute exterior lurked tremors. Danger was imminent. She knew it in her quivering cells. With every car-alarm blare in her gut. Something bad was going to happen. She didn’t know what or when. All she knew was that something else was about to blown up and scatter around them. Danger, danger, danger.

She needed to be ready. She would be ready this time, she told herself. Not like last time. Last time she was caught off guard and did all the wrong things and Sunil paid the price. But she wasn’t going to fail again. She had made a promise to Sunil and this time she wouldn’t break her promise. She would keep their parents safe. She would keep them alive. Sunil could trust her. Really, he could. She wasn’t going to fail him. This time, she would be ready.

She kept all of this to herself, because like Anchor, Black Gloom was making more and more sense lately too. It told her that she was enough of a burden already, so she should keep quiet, and besides, she deserved whatever was happening to her, didn’t she know that? Yes, she agreed, increasingly, she did.

9.