She savours a private moment of her old affection for Nirav returning, then rearranges her piles again, and plays with her retractable pen, anything to distract away from her mounting nerves. She is about to run through her speech one last time, when out of the curve of her eye, a shadow moves. She turns to look and finds a young woman dressed in a long black coat hovering at the bottom of the stairs. The young woman is holding her elbows across her stomach in a shielding way as she scans the basement with nervous flits. Kavita notices she has come to the meeting alone. It isn’t hard to tell, by the young woman’s reluctant body language, she hasn’t committed to staying, yet.

“Hi there,” Kavita calls out, brightly. “Are you here for the bereavement group?”

Their eyes meet. The squint of the young woman’s eyes widens to surprise, as though she rues being discovered, as though Kavita has ruined her plan of scouting the place out and then slipping away undetected.

“If you are,” Kavita continues, “then you’re in the right place.” She smiles even more brightly than her cheerful tone. She thinks of Hawthorn. Is this how he felt on the night she slipped away? This strange combination of hopeful and helpless. “Come in,” she waves.

Cautiously, the young woman approaches the sign-in table as if treading over an old suspension bridge with untrustworthy slats underfoot.

“Hi,” she says. She speaks with a softness that contradicts her apprehensive demeanour. “I’m Emily. It’s my first meeting.”

For a moment, Kavita peers into Emily’s pale, red-rimmed eyes. The alertness they glinted with earlier has dimmed to a tender sadness. In those eyes, Kavita glimpses a part of herself, as if Emily’s pupils are cut of mirrors. She remembers something Hawthorn told her at her first meeting. How he recognized the pain in her eyes.

Never breaking the bridge of their gaze, Kavita rises to her feet, and reaches out her hand in welcome. “I’m Kavita,” she says.

As they shake, Sunil’s rakhi balances on her wrist, alive with light.

Acknowledgements

My deepest appreciation goes to Inanna Publications for championing this novel, and to my talented editor, Luciana Ricciutelli, for her careful attention and insights throughout the editorial process. Heartfelt thanks also to Renée Knapp for supporting the promotion and publicity of the book, as well as never being too busy to answer a question or two. Working with Inanna has been a pleasure and an honour. Sincerely, thank you.

Many thanks to Sherrill Wark, Sonia Saikaley, and Allan Briesmaster for taking the time to read and share their impressions, as well as encouragement.

Thanks to Shyam Selvadurai for being a thoughtful and challenging mentor during my time with Humber. Thanks also to the Humber School for Writers and their support through the Bluma and Bram Appel Scholarship.