She doesn’t need to check her watch to know that the meeting should have started by now. She takes a deep breath. Watches the fog of her breath gather beyond her listless mouth.

It’s okay, she coaches herself.

I’ll get through this.

I can do this on my own.

Somewhere in the background, in the lampless corner she carries inside, she can sense the curling of lips, as Anchor and Gloom grin mockingly behind her back.

11.

A couple of forgettable weeks staggered into the past. One day, unexpectedly, her mother stopped napping in Sunil’s room. She washed and dressed and had toast and tea in the living room. Afterward, Kavita accompanied her to Home Depot, where she picked up carpet samples and paint chips.

“The house needs a fresh start,” her mother declared. So, she went about changing it. Perhaps if no one recognized it, the place might become liveable again.

Her father took to borrowing her laptop when she wasn’t using it to search for meditations online. He made daily trips to the library and came back with more readings on Buddhism. On her laptop, she discovered that he had been visiting the website of a Buddhist abbey in Nova Scotia, the retreats page, specifically.

Meanwhile, Nirav grew more impatient. The pressure of separation had pushed him into a realm of his personality yet unknown to her. He gave her an ultimatum. “Move back in one week, Kavita, or I’m coming over to get you myself. Enough’s enough.”

She liked ultimatums as much as she liked the words enough’s enough, something one might say to an impetuous child, rather than one’s wife. Nevertheless, she felt the pressure to return home. The idea of losing her marriage on top of everything else was inconceivable. Without Nirav, what else would she have?

Nothing, Gloom told her as she considered what to do. Except me. The thought left her chilled as she glimpsed a future that hadn’t happened yet, alone with it in the dark well, forever.

Today is moving day. After getting ready, she goes down to Sunil’s room. When she reaches the threshold, she hesitates. Peeking inside, she sees that the curtains are split open an inch. In the partial shadows, his room feels peaceful, as if he might be taking one of his long, weekend naps. But there’s no fooling herself into thinking his bed is anything but empty.