BooksBarbecue
Back Side by Side Save as PDF
Chapters (50)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Half Title Page
  3. SIDE by SIDE
  4. Dedication Page
  5. Epigraph
  6. Part I: Fall
  7. 1.
  8. 2.
  9. 3.
  10. 4.
  11. 5.
  12. Part II: Crawl
  13. 6.
  14. 7.
  15. 8.
  16. 9.
  17. 10.
  18. 11.
  19. 12.
  20. 13.
  21. 14.
  22. 15.
  23. 16.
  24. 17.
  25. 18.
  26. 19.
  27. 20.
  28. 21.
  29. 22.
  30. 23.
  31. 24.
  32. 25.
  33. 26.
  34. 27.
  35. 28.
  36. 29.
  37. 30.
  38. 31.
  39. Part III: Rise
  40. 32.
  41. 33.
  42. 34.
  43. 35.
  44. 36.
  45. 37.
  46. 38.
  47. 39.
  48. 40.
  49. Acknowledgements
  50. About the Author

“Well, I did. And you’re still having a go at me. I can’t do anything right, can I?”

“Calm down, Nirav. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. I would’ve appreciated a little warning. When she called today, I was totally unprepared for it.”

“Did you talk things out?”

“She thinks I’m upset about the baby stuff.”

“Well, you set her straight, yeah?”

“Not exactly.”

“Why not?”

“She caught me off guard and I didn’t know what to say. The whole thing was over in about thirty seconds.”

“Well, I’m not sure what to do. I talked to her like you wanted me to. At least she gave you the chance to speak your mind. It isn’t her fault that you didn’t, now is it?”

Kavita pauses, wide-eyed. “She didn’t exactly give me the floor, Nirav. Now we can never talk about it again because she says so? Please tell me you see how slanted that is.”

“Oh, Kavita, come on. Not every scenario is going to play out perfectly. Sometimes you just have to go with it.”

“You still don’t get it,” she tells him. “It’s hard for me to talk about. If I’d had time to prepare, things might have gone differently.”

Nirav puffs his cheeks with a breath.

“You don’t seem upset by how she spoke to me.”

“At least she tried.”

“Is that what she did?”

“Yes,” he tells her. “And so have I. I’m not sure what more you want from us.”

The explanation waits for breath behind her lips, like kites waiting for a breeze, but Kavita doesn’t speak, out of weariness more than anger.

“Never mind,” she tells him as she gathers her plate and carries it to the sink. Some things are meant to happen instinctually. She has many memories of Sunil, but not one of having to explain to him why she sometimes needed his support, when she was wronged or disrespected, he simply did so, as if by reflex. Some things are meant to happen naturally, out of love.

31.

Lying in the bath, Kavita gropes for the hot water tap with the dextrous toes of her left foot. A thick beeswax candle by the faucet offers warm, spare light and mildly honeys the air. Coal is crouched on the lid of the toilet, entranced by the vivid glow of the candle’s occasional flit.

Nirav is out for the evening, attending his office’s annual Christmas party held this year at a trendy wine bar in hipster-occupied Hintonburgh. Although he tried to entice her with promises of plentiful drink tickets, an open bar, gourmet poutine, and midnight karaoke, she didn’t have the energy for chitchat and cheer.