I thought about it. “The more I get to know you, the better it will be. It just feels a little… uneven right now.” I let out a forced laugh. “Too bad you don’t have an application I can just read, right?”

But even as I said it, I knew that the parts that were missing were not the important things. I might not know his favorite color or book or anything else they might ask on The Newlywed Game, but I knew his character. His pain. His dreams. His gigantic bleeding heart.

Not knowing how to say all that out loud, I focused on the menu.

Drew

After she made the joke about the application, I had an inner tug-of-war.

I actually had one I could show her: my Rent for Your ’Rents operative application, with questions as probing as the ones she’d answered. I could give her exactly what she wanted, and it would put us on even footing.

But (and this was a huge, Sir-Mix-a-Lot-size but) then she would know I dropped out of college. I assumed she already suspected it since it hadn’t come up, but the fact that she hadn’t asked both comforted and bothered me. Was it not coming up because it was no big deal? Or because it was a Big Deal with capital letters? Maybe she didn’t want to know because it would change things. How could it not, when she was surrounded by people who pinned worth on degrees?

Maybe it’s okay if you’ve already raised a million dollars for your company, she had said in response to her mother’s Dropping out of college is never okay. Maybe she’d been defending Jeffrey and didn’t think a college education was necessary. Or maybe she thought that dropping out was only okay if you had a major company to run.

I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I’d seen her community. If I hadn’t moved past my shame yet (and I’d had years!), how was she going to react?

But I also didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t know me. I was able to be somebody else daily, but not with the people I cared about, regardless of the cost.

As Chloe checked off boxes to order our dinner, I discreetly pulled my phone just far enough out of my pocket to send Marshall one more text message. He was helping me set up dessert since Jason was on a job, and I had spent most of my planning hour figuring out details with him.

Okay. Balls in.

Fish balls too. Because Chloe finished looking over the menu and slid it between us.

“Let’s get at least two orders of lamb—it’s amazing,” I said, my mouth already watering.

She grinned. “Glad your usual rules are out the window tonight.”