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Chapters (87)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Author’s Note
  4. Author’s Note about Mandarin Words
  5. THANKSGIVING
  6. Chloe CHAPTER 1 MATCH.COM ON STEROIDS
  7. Drew CHAPTER 2 JUST ANOTHER DAY
  8. Chloe CHAPTER 3 ROUND 1
  9. Drew CHAPTER 4 JUST ANOTHER NIGHT
  10. Chloe CHAPTER 5 MIDNIGHT MOONCAKES
  11. Chloe CHAPTER 6 FRANKENBĀO
  12. Chloe CHAPTER 7 NON-FRANKENBĀO
  13. Chloe CHAPTER 8 BÀI TUŌ
  14. Drew CHAPTER 9 PÒNG!
  15. Drew CHAPTER 10 LINE
  16. Chloe CHAPTER 11 HOOK, LINE, SINKER
  17. Drew CHAPTER 12 DR. HUANG
  18. Chloe CHAPTER 13 FREE WILLY
  19. Drew CHAPTER 14 QUIZ
  20. Chloe CHAPTER 15 THE LAST HURRAH
  21. Chloe CHAPTER 16 PRETENDING
  22. Chloe CHAPTER 17 OFF THE CLOCK
  23. AFTER THANKSGIVING
  24. Chloe CHAPTER 18 BETTER SKIN
  25. Drew CHAPTER 19 FOOL
  26. Drew CHAPTER 20 HEAD BANGING
  27. Chloe CHAPTER 21 A TEXT A DAY
  28. Chloe CHAPTER 22 BA-BOOP-BOOP
  29. Drew CHAPTER 23 ELIZA SCHUYLER
  30. Chloe CHAPTER 24 ARMOR
  31. CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR
  32. Drew CHAPTER 25 CHRISTMAS COOKIES
  33. Chloe CHAPTER 26 THE PRICE OF PEARS
  34. Drew CHAPTER 27 O CHRISTMAS TREE
  35. Chloe CHAPTER 28 LUMINOUS
  36. Drew CHAPTER 29 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
  37. Chloe CHAPTER 30 PRIME STRIP
  38. Drew CHAPTER 31 SHARKY SEA
  39. Chloe CHAPTER 32 SHATTERED
  40. Chloe CHAPTER 33 MIÀNZI
  41. Drew CHAPTER 34 UTERUS IN
  42. Chloe CHAPTER 35 WONTONS
  43. Drew CHAPTER 36 FALLEN
  44. Drew CHAPTER 37 HOLY HELL
  45. Chloe CHAPTER 38 NONWHITE CHRISTMAS
  46. Drew CHAPTER 39 FOR REALS
  47. Chloe CHAPTER 40 FISH BALLS
  48. Drew CHAPTER 41 BETWEEN A SHÍTÓU AND A HARD PLACE
  49. Drew CHAPTER 42 CHÁNG’É
  50. Chloe CHAPTER 43 ANSWERS
  51. Drew CHAPTER 44 CLOSING IN
  52. Chloe CHAPTER 45 DR. LIN
  53. Drew CHAPTER 46 THREE SUNS
  54. Chloe CHAPTER 47 FALLING FALLING FALLING
  55. Chloe CHAPTER 48 HOURGLASS
  56. Chloe CHAPTER 49 WANG DENTAL PALACE
  57. Drew CHAPTER 50 FULL ROM-COM
  58. Chloe CHAPTER 51 BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS
  59. Chloe CHAPTER 52 MOVING FORWARD
  60. Chloe CHAPTER 53 THE TALK
  61. Chloe CHAPTER 54 PICKLE
  62. Chloe CHAPTER 55 FAREWELL FRANKENBREAKFAST
  63. AFTER NEW YEAR’S
  64. Chloe CHAPTER 56 REIMMERSION
  65. Chloe CHAPTER 57 PURGATORY
  66. Chloe CHAPTER 58 THE CLIFF
  67. Drew CHAPTER 59 ABOUT TIME
  68. Chloe CHAPTER 60 HELL OF A GREETING
  69. Drew CHAPTER 61 I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE
  70. Chloe CHAPTER 62 FLYING
  71. Drew CHAPTER 63 SOARING
  72. Chloe CHAPTER 64 MY KIND OF FISH BALL
  73. Chloe CHAPTER 65 COLD
  74. CHINESE NEW YEAR
  75. Drew CHAPTER 66 BUNS
  76. Drew CHAPTER 67 DREW CHAN
  77. Chloe CHAPTER 68 VALENTINE’S DAY
  78. SPRING BREAK
  79. Chloe CHAPTER 69 SCAMPERING MOUSE
  80. TODAY
  81. Drew CHAPTER 70 EPILOGUE
  82. Chloe CHAPTER 71 EPILOGUE
  83. Snippets from Chloe’s application
  84. Sample of Rent for Your ’Rents Classification Chart
  85. Acknowledgments
  86. About the Author
  87. Glossary

Thank goodness, because I didn’t want to split a pear because of the other reason. But I respected her wishes and kept that to myself.

Drew CHAPTER 29 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY

Jing-Jing and I ate our own eggs and own pears, no splitting. The latter was super delish, with so much juice and that unique crunchy texture my parents always raved about (yes, the pear gift was something my real parents did). Mr. and Mrs. Wang hovered silently (and awkwardly) as Jing-Jing and I ate the traitorous fruit, only a pinched look from him and a forced nasal exhale from her. I considered conjuring up an apology email from my parents (which would’ve been almost no work on my part and expertly done by the company—they already had email addresses set up for my “parents”), but I followed my well-trained gut and gave them room to breathe.

When I’d first sat down, Jing-Jing had tilted her head at me, then at her parents, but I gave her a trust me nod even though I didn’t feel as confident as usual. She’d nodded back at me, but the worry didn’t leave her eyes.

Not ten minutes later, her parents stood and excused themselves.

“Make sure you clean up before the party this afternoon,” Mrs. Wang said sternly, mostly to her daughter.

“We’re going to that?” Jing-Jing asked, completely surprised, and her mother answered, “Of course,” with a wave of her hand.

When it was just us, Jing-Jing said, “So, uh, apparently we’re going to the annual Christmas Eve party for our little community. The entire congregation usually shows up, even the not-so-religious ones, for the food, of course.” She paused. “And it’s at Hongbo’s parents’ house.”

“Oh,” I said, the shape of my mouth and eyes matching the sound that had just come out.

“Yeah.”

“Is this a good or bad thing?”

Jing-Jing tapped her fingers on the table. “I just assumed we wouldn’t be going since my parents wouldn’t want everyone to see us together, but maybe this is their tactic to get me and Hongbo together for a longer stretch of time, where it’s harder for me to run? Except,” she said with emphasis, raising her right index finger, “we’ll use it to our advantage.”

“My thoughts exactly. Get ready for your entire community to know how in love we are.”

She grasped her cup and tilted her head toward me. “Do you have any specific tactics in mind? I just… I feel like this is it. The golden opportunity, you know? We have to reach out and”—she grabbed at the air and formed a fist—“clinch this whole thing.”

“Why don’t we take a walk?” I suggested, ticking my chin up toward her parents’ bedroom.

She nodded.