Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Author’s Note
- Author’s Note about Mandarin Words
- THANKSGIVING
- Chloe CHAPTER 1 MATCH.COM ON STEROIDS
- Drew CHAPTER 2 JUST ANOTHER DAY
- Chloe CHAPTER 3 ROUND 1
- Drew CHAPTER 4 JUST ANOTHER NIGHT
- Chloe CHAPTER 5 MIDNIGHT MOONCAKES
- Chloe CHAPTER 6 FRANKENBĀO
- Chloe CHAPTER 7 NON-FRANKENBĀO
- Chloe CHAPTER 8 BÀI TUŌ
- Drew CHAPTER 9 PÒNG!
- Drew CHAPTER 10 LINE
- Chloe CHAPTER 11 HOOK, LINE, SINKER
- Drew CHAPTER 12 DR. HUANG
- Chloe CHAPTER 13 FREE WILLY
- Drew CHAPTER 14 QUIZ
- Chloe CHAPTER 15 THE LAST HURRAH
- Chloe CHAPTER 16 PRETENDING
- Chloe CHAPTER 17 OFF THE CLOCK
- AFTER THANKSGIVING
- Chloe CHAPTER 18 BETTER SKIN
- Drew CHAPTER 19 FOOL
- Drew CHAPTER 20 HEAD BANGING
- Chloe CHAPTER 21 A TEXT A DAY
- Chloe CHAPTER 22 BA-BOOP-BOOP
- Drew CHAPTER 23 ELIZA SCHUYLER
- Chloe CHAPTER 24 ARMOR
- CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR
- Drew CHAPTER 25 CHRISTMAS COOKIES
- Chloe CHAPTER 26 THE PRICE OF PEARS
- Drew CHAPTER 27 O CHRISTMAS TREE
- Chloe CHAPTER 28 LUMINOUS
- Drew CHAPTER 29 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
- Chloe CHAPTER 30 PRIME STRIP
- Drew CHAPTER 31 SHARKY SEA
- Chloe CHAPTER 32 SHATTERED
- Chloe CHAPTER 33 MIÀNZI
- Drew CHAPTER 34 UTERUS IN
- Chloe CHAPTER 35 WONTONS
- Drew CHAPTER 36 FALLEN
- Drew CHAPTER 37 HOLY HELL
- Chloe CHAPTER 38 NONWHITE CHRISTMAS
- Drew CHAPTER 39 FOR REALS
- Chloe CHAPTER 40 FISH BALLS
- Drew CHAPTER 41 BETWEEN A SHÍTÓU AND A HARD PLACE
- Drew CHAPTER 42 CHÁNG’É
- Chloe CHAPTER 43 ANSWERS
- Drew CHAPTER 44 CLOSING IN
- Chloe CHAPTER 45 DR. LIN
- Drew CHAPTER 46 THREE SUNS
- Chloe CHAPTER 47 FALLING FALLING FALLING
- Chloe CHAPTER 48 HOURGLASS
- Chloe CHAPTER 49 WANG DENTAL PALACE
- Drew CHAPTER 50 FULL ROM-COM
- Chloe CHAPTER 51 BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS
- Chloe CHAPTER 52 MOVING FORWARD
- Chloe CHAPTER 53 THE TALK
- Chloe CHAPTER 54 PICKLE
- Chloe CHAPTER 55 FAREWELL FRANKENBREAKFAST
- AFTER NEW YEAR’S
- Chloe CHAPTER 56 REIMMERSION
- Chloe CHAPTER 57 PURGATORY
- Chloe CHAPTER 58 THE CLIFF
- Drew CHAPTER 59 ABOUT TIME
- Chloe CHAPTER 60 HELL OF A GREETING
- Drew CHAPTER 61 I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE
- Chloe CHAPTER 62 FLYING
- Drew CHAPTER 63 SOARING
- Chloe CHAPTER 64 MY KIND OF FISH BALL
- Chloe CHAPTER 65 COLD
- CHINESE NEW YEAR
- Drew CHAPTER 66 BUNS
- Drew CHAPTER 67 DREW CHAN
- Chloe CHAPTER 68 VALENTINE’S DAY
- SPRING BREAK
- Chloe CHAPTER 69 SCAMPERING MOUSE
- TODAY
- Drew CHAPTER 70 EPILOGUE
- Chloe CHAPTER 71 EPILOGUE
- Snippets from Chloe’s application
- Sample of Rent for Your ’Rents Classification Chart
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Glossary
I hurried around him so he’d have to face me. “Maybe you’re going along with all this because you’re having a really hard time finding a girlfriend and need Mommy and Daddy to do it for you. Why would you need to marry me, someone you supposedly can’t stand—though maybe you’re lying about that, too—if you could get anyone else? Maybe you’re all talk and no game. If someone as ‘inexperienced’ as me doesn’t even want you, maybe no one else does either. Maybe you talk about all your ‘exploits’ to cover up that you’ve had none.” Then I used his own prejudices against him: “Maybe you’re still a virgin.”
“I am not a virgin,” he said with a laugh.
I shrugged. “That’s what you say. You brag about Prime Strip and supersperm because you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Throughout my volleys, he had slowly been steaming, a kettle about to boil, and with that last comment he exploded. “I’ve had so much sex it would blow your shriveled mind!” Hongbo yelled at me. “And I do have supersperm! I got someone pregnant! She’s due on New Year’s!”
My mouth dropped open. So did Andrew’s. And Hongbo’s.
“That’s not true,” he backtracked. But he knew it was too late. “You can’t tell anyone. No one would believe you. I’ll—I’ll hunt you both down if this gets out. I know people!”
I was still processing. “Your parents wanted me to be with you to, what, fix your reputation with mine? As proof that you’ve changed? To distract people with engagement news so they don’t notice the baby news?” He didn’t answer. “And that’s why you were cut off, as punishment,” I realized. “So this is about the money for you.”
A hopeful look crossed Hongbo’s face. “Well, now that you know, maybe you can help an old friend out?”
I gave him my own pfft—a spit-spraying one.
Andrew spoke to just me. “You should tell your parents about this. Then it’ll be over; they’ll stop pressuring you.”
Hongbo scoffed. “What makes you think they don’t already know?”
My vision blurred. He was lying. He had to be. He was trying to get back at me. Trying to make me angry.
But then his next words rang in my ears. “Your mom told us they’d be honored to help. ‘Jing-Jing is the purest of them all!’ ” he finished, mimicking my mother’s voice saying the catchphrase she only used with me in private—well, I guess, not anymore.
Bloodred shame and red-hot anger exploded into existence simultaneously. The lava coursing through my veins was so overwhelming that my mind blanked for a moment. But when I came to, I knew exactly who to take everything out on.