Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Author’s Note
- Author’s Note about Mandarin Words
- THANKSGIVING
- Chloe CHAPTER 1 MATCH.COM ON STEROIDS
- Drew CHAPTER 2 JUST ANOTHER DAY
- Chloe CHAPTER 3 ROUND 1
- Drew CHAPTER 4 JUST ANOTHER NIGHT
- Chloe CHAPTER 5 MIDNIGHT MOONCAKES
- Chloe CHAPTER 6 FRANKENBĀO
- Chloe CHAPTER 7 NON-FRANKENBĀO
- Chloe CHAPTER 8 BÀI TUŌ
- Drew CHAPTER 9 PÒNG!
- Drew CHAPTER 10 LINE
- Chloe CHAPTER 11 HOOK, LINE, SINKER
- Drew CHAPTER 12 DR. HUANG
- Chloe CHAPTER 13 FREE WILLY
- Drew CHAPTER 14 QUIZ
- Chloe CHAPTER 15 THE LAST HURRAH
- Chloe CHAPTER 16 PRETENDING
- Chloe CHAPTER 17 OFF THE CLOCK
- AFTER THANKSGIVING
- Chloe CHAPTER 18 BETTER SKIN
- Drew CHAPTER 19 FOOL
- Drew CHAPTER 20 HEAD BANGING
- Chloe CHAPTER 21 A TEXT A DAY
- Chloe CHAPTER 22 BA-BOOP-BOOP
- Drew CHAPTER 23 ELIZA SCHUYLER
- Chloe CHAPTER 24 ARMOR
- CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR
- Drew CHAPTER 25 CHRISTMAS COOKIES
- Chloe CHAPTER 26 THE PRICE OF PEARS
- Drew CHAPTER 27 O CHRISTMAS TREE
- Chloe CHAPTER 28 LUMINOUS
- Drew CHAPTER 29 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
- Chloe CHAPTER 30 PRIME STRIP
- Drew CHAPTER 31 SHARKY SEA
- Chloe CHAPTER 32 SHATTERED
- Chloe CHAPTER 33 MIÀNZI
- Drew CHAPTER 34 UTERUS IN
- Chloe CHAPTER 35 WONTONS
- Drew CHAPTER 36 FALLEN
- Drew CHAPTER 37 HOLY HELL
- Chloe CHAPTER 38 NONWHITE CHRISTMAS
- Drew CHAPTER 39 FOR REALS
- Chloe CHAPTER 40 FISH BALLS
- Drew CHAPTER 41 BETWEEN A SHÍTÓU AND A HARD PLACE
- Drew CHAPTER 42 CHÁNG’É
- Chloe CHAPTER 43 ANSWERS
- Drew CHAPTER 44 CLOSING IN
- Chloe CHAPTER 45 DR. LIN
- Drew CHAPTER 46 THREE SUNS
- Chloe CHAPTER 47 FALLING FALLING FALLING
- Chloe CHAPTER 48 HOURGLASS
- Chloe CHAPTER 49 WANG DENTAL PALACE
- Drew CHAPTER 50 FULL ROM-COM
- Chloe CHAPTER 51 BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS
- Chloe CHAPTER 52 MOVING FORWARD
- Chloe CHAPTER 53 THE TALK
- Chloe CHAPTER 54 PICKLE
- Chloe CHAPTER 55 FAREWELL FRANKENBREAKFAST
- AFTER NEW YEAR’S
- Chloe CHAPTER 56 REIMMERSION
- Chloe CHAPTER 57 PURGATORY
- Chloe CHAPTER 58 THE CLIFF
- Drew CHAPTER 59 ABOUT TIME
- Chloe CHAPTER 60 HELL OF A GREETING
- Drew CHAPTER 61 I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE
- Chloe CHAPTER 62 FLYING
- Drew CHAPTER 63 SOARING
- Chloe CHAPTER 64 MY KIND OF FISH BALL
- Chloe CHAPTER 65 COLD
- CHINESE NEW YEAR
- Drew CHAPTER 66 BUNS
- Drew CHAPTER 67 DREW CHAN
- Chloe CHAPTER 68 VALENTINE’S DAY
- SPRING BREAK
- Chloe CHAPTER 69 SCAMPERING MOUSE
- TODAY
- Drew CHAPTER 70 EPILOGUE
- Chloe CHAPTER 71 EPILOGUE
- Snippets from Chloe’s application
- Sample of Rent for Your ’Rents Classification Chart
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Glossary
“For the record, I liked that line,” he said. He nudged my shoulder with his. I flinched when we made contact, and he scooted away an inch. “I’m sorry.”
Not as sorry as I was.
I put my hand out, palm down. “One, two, three—fuck you, Hongbo!” I chanted. And even though we were far from a foolproof plan, Andrew put his palm on mine and we pressed down, then threw our hands and worries into the air.
Drew CHAPTER 31 SHARKY SEA
I was as ready as I could be for the Christmas Eve party to end all parties: freshly showered, deodorized, shaved, and suited up (just a regular suit, not a superhero suit, unfortunately). Most importantly, I had also received an all clear from corporate about the party. As soon as Jing-Jing and I had returned from our walk, I’d sent Rent for Your ’Rents an alert with the party details, and they had combed through their database and the internet for potential conflicts with any previous clients of mine. The chances were already low because, before I had even been assigned to her, Jing-Jing had listed her communities and family friends and contacts for the algorithm to take into consideration. But I liked to take every precaution, meaning, if the all clear hadn’t come through, Rent for Your ’Rents would have tried to contact the other client, or I would have found a way out of the party.
I was sitting on the couch, fighting my urge to twiddle my thumbs, when Jing-Jing descended the stairs in a flowy, scarlet, knee-length cocktail dress. Three pink peonies were splashed across the top half, above where the skirt flared out, and two adorable Chinese knot closures joined the two sides of the slanted collar. And, this had never happened before, I promise (and I’d never wanted it to happen), but it felt like she was coming toward me in slow motion.
I had somehow stood as she came downstairs, but I didn’t remember moving any muscles.
“Wow.” I cleared my throat. “I mean, wow,” I said in exactly the same hoarse, embarrassing way.
Everything sped up again and she smiled at me as she approached.
“You clean up nice,” she said, gesturing to my maroon button-up shirt, navy suit, and forest-green pocket square. (Maroon was a UChicago color and, with the forest green, also checked the Christmas-colors box.)
Then she leaned over and whispered, “Good performance.”
Performance? Right. Jing-Jing subtly tilted her head toward her mother, whom I now saw for the first time, peeking at us from around the corner, her eyes wide and lit up like that time at Thanksgiving when I’d complimented how strong and independent Jing-Jing was.