There’s also the intense need to show Ellis how much she means to me. It’s really because of her that I feel any of this to begin with. She looks radiant laying on the bed. Despite how she’s been feeling, I can’t help but think pregnancy suits her. I can see a glow about her. There is a second where I contemplate kissing her, but I know that isn’t what she wants from me. That would muddy the clear boundaries she wants. Co-parents and nothing more, Liam, remember that. Instead, I take her into my arms.

“Thank you. Fuck, Sunshine, thank you,” I mutter. As soon as Dr Horne leaves the room and Ellis has wiped the goo from her stomach, I lift her off the bed and spin her around, the dress that was pulled up over her stomach falling down and around as we spin.

“Liam! Put me down!” Her shrieks are peppered with laughter.

“You have precious cargo, I think I should carry you everywhere.”

“Ask me again when my ankles swell, I might take you up on it.” She pulls my earlobe until I put her down. Nobody has done that to me since college. It was her favourite way of pulling me off the sofa when she wanted to study but I was too busy staring at her. Her other technique was to kiss me until I was putty in her arms and then sneak attack by putting my textbooks on my lap when I tried to pull her closer.

“I’m glad it’s you who I get to co-parent with, Liam,” she says with sincerity. I nod in response. No words will describe how much I love and hate what she just said. Instead I watch as she zips up her jacket and goes to leave the room.

I wish I could tell her that isn’t what I really want. Co-parenting isn’t enough for me, especially not after how I felt when we reunited at that bar. But something in her doesn’t want me – doesn’t want us like that. I debate with myself whether or not to be honest about how she makes me feel. But risking what we currently have, the steady, easy-going bond… it seems selfish.

So I stay quiet, and follow her out the door.

Chapter Twelve

Ellis