“That’s our baby.” I am nodding like a bobble head. It’s the only part of my body I can seem to move. I wanted this time to be different, and despite being in that waiting room without him, it is.

On a fundamental level, something is very different; this baby is ours, not just mine. Liam wants this baby. He wants to be here.

Liam is more than making it different.

He’s making it better.

Chapter Nine

Liam

Other than getting drafted into the NHL, I’ve never had some grand life plan. From the first time I had skates on my feet I knew I had found my calling. But beyond making that a reality there was not much else I dreamed of.

As a kid my heart beat for getting on the ice. The rush of scoring, the adrenalin of having people wearing my number eight on their jersey and knowing they were putting their faith in me. Nothing has felt better than my first official game as a rookie in New York all those years ago. Until I saw that little black blob on the computer screen this morning.

Coming back to Seattle felt like a step back. I thought by playing for the Spears I was giving up on my dreams of travelling the US and seeing the world. A stupid thought when really I am travelling now just as much as I did in New York and Vancouver, but I guess something about being at home again felt wrong. It felt like perhaps I was reverting back. But I suppose something bigger was at play than just my career. Fate was bringing me back home so I could find a way forward, so I could find something worth moving forward for.

There’s no denying that I’m scared. Scared for Ellis especially. Being pregnant is scary for most people, but for her it’s going to be even harder, and I have to step up. Jack is going to need support when Ellis is in pain, so I’ll need to be there for him too. All this while trying to keep the Spears winning, I’m going to be pulled in one hundred different directions.

With my thoughts running wild, it’s no surprise to me that my body is still buzzing with electricity when I make it to the arena in Vegas. Suited up, I feel constricted in the tailored fabric, but rules are rules. It was not unlike me as a rookie to walk into the locker room with enough ego to fill the seats, but today, something feels different. There is a distraction pulling me away. I’m having a goddamn baby. I’m going to be a dad.

“Afternoon boys, we ready to play some hockey?” I yell as I walk in, hiding my fear and anxiety behind a confident bravado.