Anyway, it’s probably just my hormones talking for me. It has to be. I can’t fall in love with him again just for my heart to get broken again. I put the limit of a year on us back then because I knew I was going to fall in love with him. But I also knew I couldn’t hold him back from the draft. Instead, I set a boundary and stuck to it, even if it ripped me apart to watch him play on the other side of the country when all I wanted was for him to hold me in his arms. Now when I want to trust him he does the one thing I ask him not to. It just shows me further that I need to listen to my head. I can’t listen to my heart or the sexual tension I feel. I have to protect myself even if that means stewing in my denial a little bit longer.

Chapter Fourteen

Liam

It feels like Christmas morning. That rush you get knowing when you walk down the stairs and the front room is teeming with gifts, lights are shining and the frost is crisp on the windowsill. That is the only way I can describe the feeling thumping through my veins right now. It’s stupid really, I feel almost giddy just because Ellis is standing in my kitchen giving me marching orders for the day.

Finally, my team are going to meet the mother of my child. Since I told them the truth I have been pushing for Ellis to meet them. I think when she knows the type of people they are she will be a little less mad about them knowing. She can see that they will keep it a secret. Jack is stood by his mother’s side looking as giddy as I feel about the idea of a big barbecue with my closest friends; it is lighting up his eyes. There is something so right about them in my space.

Images of Ellis cooking when I get home from practice or Jack sat at my dining room table doing homework flood my senses, us cuddled on the couch watching film after film while our baby is asleep upstairs. Although it’s only a dream, it feels so close to reality as she tells me to get the deck ready for guests.