The tree brought peace to me when I was little and comfort when I grew up. He brought Olivia to me, and then Elias.

Even though I don’t know where my friendship with Elias is going, he’s here right now. They are here. And I can’t remember the last time someone was there for me.

Olivia cries and comes to hug me. I just stand there, with no strength to react. No tears. Nothing. On my left, I can see a tear sliding down Enya’s cheek, and when she senses that I’m watching her, she joins us in the hug.

Elias sniffs and then I feel his comforting touch on my shoulder. I want to lean my head on it, but Enya rouses us, bringing me back to reality.

“Let’s go,” she says.

I nod, and we all turn away. None of us look back as we leave.

“You go in. I’m going to get the sweets from the car,” Elias says, but I stop him before I change my mind.

“Can we go to your parents?”

If he’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. He nods and Olivia squeezes my hand.

“Just let me get Enya the sweets and then we can go,” he says.

I nod in agreement and sit down on the porch.

“I like him.” Enya says.

I try not to think about a life without the biggest memory keeper I’ve had. Because that’s what he was to me. The reminder of all the beautiful things that happened here with my grandma. And now he’s gone. Just like everything else that once made me happy. Were they even real? Or was it all in my imagination?

After that, everything happens in a blur. Enya takes the sweets and we drive to Elias’s parents’ house in complete silence. They’re there to greet us when we arrive.

If they sense there’s something wrong, which I’m sure they do, they don’t say anything about it. His dad suggests playing Mortal Kombat, which we do, and I somehow manage to beat everyone. His father laughs at Elias about that, and we feel a little lighter, but that space in our hearts is spoiling every smile, every laugh.

Lorelai tries her best to please our tummies with everything she has. We eat almost robotically, and I notice the concerned looks between Tom and Lorelai.

“Let’s go to bed,” Elias says, putting his hand over my shoulder as the clock approaches midnight.

Olivia sits up. “I’m going too.”

We all say good night, each of us going to our rooms. When we enter Elias’s, I crash on the bed, and Elias starts to make his.

I stop him. “Sleep here. You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

He pauses, looking concerned.

“We are adults. Come on.”