So I did. And it feels good. Like a fresh start.

You have to see it the way I do. You wouldn’t want me to be sad, right? Then don’t be. Think about how this released me from the pain I was in. I love you. I know I never got the chance to tell you, but I do. You were my only friend, and as grumpy as you were to start with, you turned into this beautiful woman. A woman that has the courage to say out loud that she has a problem and she’s ready to face it.

You just said ‘fuck it’, Blue (Mom would’ve totally shouted ‘language!’). You crawled out of the dark, and even though you fought demons at every turn, you still kept going.

I’m so proud of you. Don’t let what happened take you down again. I don’t want to be the reason you went back. You’re strong enough to resist. I just know it. You did it once. Now all you have to do is stay, and that is a lot easier.

Please take care of Elias. I see the way he looks at you. I even see the way you look at him when you think he won’t notice. He’s the one, Indigo. Stop doubting it. Stop asking yourself if it’s going to work. It is! I’m up here, doing my best to protect your relationship. You just have to be ready to fight for it.

He loves you. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know it yet, and something tells me you don’t know your feelings either, but it won’t be long until you both realize it.

And keep this in mind: With every smile, I’m closer to you. With every tear, I’m further away.

If you think I’m gone or no longer next to you, know that every time you see a butterfly it’s me saying ‘I love you’. When your dogs bark at nothing, just know it was me. With every beat of your heart, I’m right beside you.

Don’t forget: If it’s a girl, Avery. If it’s a boy, Lucas. Got it?

Livy x

I drop the tear-stained letter and cover my burning face with my hands. It hurts how smart she was. How she anticipated everything. How she knew the right things to say.

Knowing my grandma and her might be in heaven together calms my heart in an inexplicable way. It brings me peace.

Thinking her brother might love me also brings comfort. I know I have feelings for him, it’s just that I’ve never put a label on them.

I just hope his love for me will be enough to bring him back home.

* * *

Sunday, 10:20 AM

Indigo: I just finished reading it.

Elias: The letter?

Indigo: Yeah

Elias: Are you okay?

Indigo: Not really