‘Well, I can’t imagine the two of them arguing about politics,’ Freddie whispers to me.

‘No. I can’t even imagine them conversing,’ I reply. ‘All he talks about is football, and all she talks about is herself.’

Eva holds up her board, which says ‘missed first Valentine’s Day’ along with a sad face. As Daniel reveals that his answer matches, the audience playfully boo him.

‘Oh, no,’ Zoey says. ‘I hope you had a good excuse.’

‘He spent it with his fiancée,’ I whisper to Freddie. ‘That’s his excuse.’

‘Well, Daniel and Eva are currently on four out of four, which is our joint highest score so far. If they can get this one right, they’ll be our new leaders. So…’

So far, no one has answered their fifth and final question right. The final questions come from a separate box and are supposedly harder than the previous ones.

‘What was Daniel scared of when he was younger?’ Zoey asks.

Eva scratches her head theatrically before writing something down. She holds her board up to reveal the word ‘clowns’.

‘Ooh, clowns,’ Zoey says. ‘Shall we see what Daniel wrote?’

‘It’s dogs,’ I tell Freddie.

When Daniel was seven years old, he and his cousin were playing on the street where Daniel lived, when a dog approached them and bit his cousin. Daniel remembers the dog biting him, but his mum insists it was his cousin who got bit. This left Daniel with a crippling fear of dogs, which I helped him overcome when we met, by introducing him to my parents’ Pomeranians. Well, who could be scared of a Pomeranian? They’re basically small clouds that bark if you don’t give them enough attention.

‘Oh, unlucky,’ Zoey says. ‘The answer was dogs. But, the good news is that you’re still our joint leaders, so you’re definitely through to the next round.’

‘I’ve got an idea,’ Freddie whispers to me. ‘You answer questions about me. No one will be able to see what you’re doing in that booth – you can only see faces. Just pretend you’re writing your answer down, and quickly look it up online.’

‘Look it up online?’ I reply.

‘It never ceases to amaze me, how much random but accurate information there is about me on the web,’ he says with a bemused chuckle. ‘So look it up online.’

Daniel and Eva exit their booths and hug each other victoriously. As Freddie and I make our way over, we pass them on the stage.

‘Good luck,’ Daniel whispers to me with a smarmy grin.

There’s no way I could possibly know as much about Freddie as Eva knows about Daniel. No matter how long their affair has been going on, they’ve known each other for years. I’ve known Freddie for days, and our relationship is entirely fabricated.

‘Our final couple of the evening is Freddie and Lila,’ Zoey tells the audience, reading our names off a card.

Freddie is still wearing his sunglasses, which seem to be doing the trick, preserving his anonymity. He looks like a bit of a poser though, given that it’s definitely dark now.