‘Tonight will test our couples’ staying power,’ Zoey says, the suggestion in her voice inciting ‘woos’ from the crowd. I hear one especially loud man shout out ‘oioi’ – he sounds as if he’s from my neck of the woods. It’s comforting, to hear a little bit of home.

A couple of hotel staff members lead us all out onto the dance floor in front of the stage, which is clear tonight in preparation for whatever the hell is going to happen. It worries me that we’re all out here on the floor at the same time. I worry about what they’re going to get us to do. God, I hope it doesn’t involve dancing. I’m definitely more can’t can’t than cancan. In fact, the last time I tried to dance in public a man thought I was choking and tried to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on me.

Zoey announces that this round will test our physical strength (I don’t have any), our strength as a couple (we’re not one, I hardly know the guy), and our stubbornness – yes, finally, a quality (not sure it’s a quality) I have. It’s amazing how stubborn and petty I can be when I’m annoyed. Daniel is also the kind of person who likes to have the last word, so our arguments would be fun. To be fair, we never really had that many arguments and I always thought that was testament to how strong we were as a couple, which I guess we weren’t. Looking at it from the outside, perhaps he never cared about me enough to fight for anything.

‘So, our lovely couples will decide who is going to be the strength in their relationship, and who is going to be the moral support,’ Zoey continues. ‘We’re all about equal opportunities here at Valentine Island, so it’s up to you who does what, but the aim of the game is for the strongest person to pick their partner up and hold them for as long as they can. Ladies, you can lift your fellas if you’d prefer – although we’ve got some nice, strong-looking boys out there tonight.’

I notice her eyes linger on Freddie for a moment. It makes me just the tiniest bit jealous, for some reason. Silly really because – you know what I’m going to say, so all together now – he isn’t my real boyfriend.

‘Now, you can hold your partner in any way you like,’ Zoey explains. ‘Anyone who lets go of their partner, whether it be by accident or on purpose, will be eliminated. First place will get the most points, followed by second, third – et cetera. So, are you ready?’

It doesn’t seem as if we’re getting any time to discuss strategy; we’re just expected to go on her whistle. It’s been a little awkward with Freddie since earlier. When he knocked on my door to walk me here, Ali walked with us on her way to linger around the bar where Max works. Then, when we got here, Eva and Daniel were straight over to us.