‘And you’re not rubbing Freddie in my face?’ he replies.

‘Careful, Daniel, you sound jealous,’ I reply. ‘Freddie and I were already together before you got here.’

‘You’re clearly only with him because he’s famous, because you think it will upset me,’ he says.

‘For your information, I had no idea who he was when I met him.’

‘You had no idea who he was? Everyone knows who Freddie Bianchi is.’

‘No, they don’t,’ I reply. ‘You certainly don’t. You know nothing about celebrity culture. You thought Armie Hammer was a toothpaste.’

‘So you would have just moved on with any old person as fast, then?’ he asks.

‘I moved on when it was appropriate to move on.’

I know that I didn’t technically move on, on our wedding day – and I still haven’t. I’m still so angry and so obsessed with the two of them, wondering how they’re spending their days here together and feeling angry that Eva has just assumed my life, and that Daniel hasn’t only let her, he’s facilitated the whole thing with intent.

‘You could still be respectful of the fact that I’m next door,’ he fumes. ‘I heard the two of you at it last night – all night long, obviously for my benefit.’

It takes me a couple of seconds to figure out what the hell he’s talking about. It makes sense though – if I could hear Ali and Max from one side of the wall, he and Eva will have been able to hear from the other.

So Daniel thinks it was me screaming, howling and banging on the walls… well, I’m not about to correct him.

‘I wasn’t doing anything for your benefit last night,’ I insist – not technically a lie, I’m just letting him wander down the wrong path.

‘That’s rubbish,’ he replies. ‘I’ve never heard you make noises like that.’

‘Well, then, I guess perhaps Freddie just knows what he’s doing more than you did,’ I say. ‘Did you ever think of that?’

Before we have chance to continue, Freddie and Eva arrive back. Freddie is carrying a tray of drinks. He gestures towards my usual porn star martini.

‘Did they let you make it?’ I ask him.

‘No such luck, sorry,’ he replies. ‘The staff here are so funny about the customers trying to do their jobs for them.’

I giggle, which makes Daniel seethe. His face is almost as red as Eva’s bottle-dye job.

‘Gosh, so warm tonight,’ Eva says, changing the subject.

I think one of the reasons she’s making me so angry is because she isn’t acting as if she’s stolen my man, she’s acting as if we’re on a double date. As far as Eva is concerned, she’s just on a lovely holiday with her boyfriend, her friend and her friend’s new boyfriend. Nobody likes an atmosphere, and I wouldn’t accept her apology if she offered me one, but she’s acting as if everything is fine.

I wonder if I would feel better if she apologised. I suppose, in a way, even if I didn’t want to accept her apology, the fact that she offered one up would at least show that she knew she had done something wrong and that she felt guilty about it. If Ali had done this to me – my best friend of, oh, I don’t know, however many years doesn’t make us sound old – would I be so willing to throw my friendship away? Probably not, but, then again, a true friend like Ali would never do this.