‘If this were a scene in one of your books, what would happen next?’ he asks curiously.

‘Erm…’ I bite my lip. ‘If this were a scene, and not a fake relationship to win a competition…’

It feels so forced, reminding him of that fact. Of course, he knows that’s what this is – I suppose I want him to know that I know, just in case he thinks I’m reading anything into his efforts. I’m just a solution to his loneliness and his boredom, and he’s just a way to make my ex jealous and hopefully win me 5k Euros.

‘This is the kind of scene where someone makes a move,’ I tell him. ‘Usually the person who set it up – that’s what it’s all for. To woo the other person. Doing something like this – a big, romantic gesture, but a slow-burn one – gives you the chance to assess the situation. Is the other person interested or do they seem uncomfortable? Most importantly, are they going to kiss me back? It’s a good way to test the water.’

Freddie is just staring at me, smiling, listening attentively.

‘So, it always goes that way?’ he asks. ‘It’s always the person who sets these things up who makes the first move?’

‘Well, yes,’ I reply. ‘If someone does all this for you, maybe they have a whole thing planned out? Let them do it. And you don’t want to just throw yourself at someone because they did a nice thing for you – it might seem like it’s just out of gratitude. And if you get into territory where you have sex with people out of gratitude…’

‘You’re in one of my stories,’ he says with an awkward chuckle. ‘It’s okay, I know.’

‘Our genres are just apples and oranges,’ I insist. ‘People who read my books want a happy ever after. People who read the Edge of Eden books want—ʼ

‘A happy ending,’ he jokes.

‘Exactly,’ I reply.

Freddie shuffles closer to me.

‘Okay, so a character is going to make a move, what would he do? Would he move close to you like this?’ Freddie places his face next to my ear. ‘Maybe find a reason to whisper to you, just to get closer?’

I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. Every inch of me is waiting with bated breath, to see what Freddie does next. I feel the tip of his nose brush against my cheek and it sends such a strong shockwave through my body, I jump to my feet.

‘Oh, okay, wow,’ I babble. ‘That’s, erm, really good thinking. Good idea for a scene. You know what, I’m going to go write it right now, while it’s fresh in my head.’

‘Oh, right now?’

‘Right now.’

‘Are you sure you don’t want some dessert?’

‘Sweet enough,’ I reply, inwardly cringing. I hate it when people say things like that.

‘Okay, if you need to write then don’t let me stop you. I’ll see you for more Mr & Mrs Valentine Island later?’