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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

Alison stops to pick out three red apples and two green ones. Maddy sees that she’s not always so precise; taking a handful of potatoes she pushes them into a bag. Then she chooses a pineapple, turns it over, sniffs it, and adds it to the shopping. She click clacks away in her kitten heel mules. Her calf muscles are tight. She must work out every day. An unwelcome image of Alison’s legs wrapped around Max pushes its way into her head.

She pulls into the meat aisle, but Alison misses it out completely. Bet she’s a bloody vegan, can’t believe he went along with that. He loves his steak and chips. Is she going to be the one to tell her he’s missing, presumed dead? She follows her to the dairy section. He must have enjoyed being two different people, leading two lives. Maybe that was part of the appeal: that, and having sex with two women. Not as often as she wanted though. She should have realised there was someone else. There must have been signs, how could she have missed them?

Maddy drops a bag of stewing beef into her trolley. She imagines the security cameras watching her, knowing that she’s not really shopping. Alison comes to the end of the aisle but instead of turning down the next one, she is spinning round, heading back towards Maddy. There’s nowhere to hide. She is certain Alison will know who she is. Maddy backs up, crashes into a shelf. Alison stops next to her, peers into the fridge. Maddy freezes holding her breath. Alison moves on and Maddy slowly exhales.

And then she’s gone. Vanished. Maddy races down the centre of the shop, scanning up and down each aisle, both sides. Perhaps it dawned on her she was being followed. Maybe she recognised her from when she knocked at her door. What if she knows who she is? She’s probably calling security right now. She’ll be frogmarched off the premises. How humiliating. She wants to shout, but she’s been living with my husband!

There she is, standing at the Pharmacy counter, talking to the chemist. She’s unbuttoning her coat. Maddy edges closer, gripping the trolley. Alison is rubbing her belly, which should be flat on someone so tiny, but it’s not, there’s a distinct swelling. As Alison talks, she wipes her eyes with a tissue. The chemist brings a chair forward, and as she sits down, her hands reach around the now unmistakable bump. Maddy’s mouth opens in a silent scream. A pain shoots through the side of her head. She abandons the trolley and presses the heel of her hand to her temple, running haphazardly towards the doors, colliding with people as she tries to escape.