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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

‘So, what happened? He’s so early.’

‘My waters broke in the restaurant car park. Took me completely by surprise.’

‘Didn’t that happen when you had Chloe?’

‘Did it? I don’t remember.’

‘And they let you come home, even though you’re what, five weeks early?’

‘Thankfully he’s a healthy weight, 5lb 9oz.’

‘That is quite big for a premature baby, especially as your bump was so small. Look at him though, he’s so gorgeous.’

‘They said sometimes when people have a small bump, they don’t even realise they’re pregnant until they’re in labour.’

‘Well, thank God you knew.’

‘They said my dates could have been wrong.’ Maddy avoids looking at her directly. Be careful. She’s trying to catch you out.

‘And they didn’t notice that before?’

Maddy shakes her head.

‘Why didn’t you call me? I could have picked you up.’

‘I wanted to come straight home. Hospitals can be so… unfriendly.’ She fusses about, stacking nappies into a drawer.

‘Didn’t you need a baby seat for the car?’

‘I’d already bought one, didn’t I tell you?’ She wishes Sarah would stop asking questions, it’s making her dizzy.

‘Look at his tiny fingers, Mummy,’ Emily says, pointing at him.

‘And everything was all right with the birth?’

‘It was so quick. Really. I feel fine.’

‘He’s so beautiful, Maddy, the absolute image of Max, isn’t he?’ Sarah stops frowning at last.

‘Exactly like him.’ Maddy sighs. ‘I think he has my eyes.’

‘What’s his name? What’s his name?’ Emily jumps up and down on the spot.

‘He doesn’t have a name yet. You didn’t have a name for several weeks.’

Emily squints and taps her lips with a finger. ‘How about Sam?’ she says. ‘I like that name.’

‘I think it’s lovely too, darling. Hello Sam,’ Maddy says, stroking the side of his face.

Emily kisses his cheek. ‘Sam won’t have to go away like Chloe and Daddy, will he?’

Sarah grimaces.

‘Oh darling,’ Maddy kneels and hugs Emily, ‘I hope he’s going to be with us for a very long time.’

Maddy is up again through the night, bottle feeding Sam every three or four hours. The lack of sleep bothers her less than she imagined; in fact, she often wakes before he does. She’s enjoying having so much more energy. It doesn’t seem that long ago since she last had a newborn to look after. Her body glows with warmth each time she looks at him. Sam. Samuel. She likes it. Emily must have remembered they talked about the name when she first became pregnant.

It is Sunday afternoon and an unexpected warmth seeps into the day. Maddy hands Sam over to Emily who places him on the blanket in the pram.