Back Every Little Secret
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

As she nears the top, she shudders involuntarily. There’s a musty smell in the air she can’t place. A sudden memory of locking the front door comes to her. She hung the key in the kitchen before making up Charlie’s last feed. So how could it have opened? For a few moments she stops, one foot on the top stair. Can a newborn sleep so long without food? She takes a deep breath and tiptoes into the room, but in the dim light she can see the crib is empty.

She blinks hard and turns on the bedroom light, staring at the stark white cotton sheet as if he will appear, but shadows of the bulb jump in front of her eyes. The teddy she bought when she first became pregnant is still at the bottom of the crib. The sheets are pulled back, as if she’s taken Charlie out. Did she? She is so dazed she can’t remember. Traces of his downy hair where he turns his head from side to side are on the flat pillow. The new cotton blanket she bought last week has been dropped on the carpet. Two cupboard drawers are hanging out, empty. Charlie is nowhere to be seen.

She scrabbles around on her knees hoping by some bizarre miracle that he’s fallen out. But he’s not there. She clutches her throat; it is so dry and barbed she’s finding it hard to swallow.

‘Jamie!’ she croaks and bursts into his bedroom.

He bolts up in bed, squinting at her.

‘Charlie’s not in his crib.’ She hears herself scream the words but it’s like they are being spoken by someone else. Her face is burning, eyes bulging. ‘Is he here? Did I leave him with you?’

‘What do you mean? He’s not here.’ He scratches his head.

‘Where is he? Where’s he gone!’ Back in her bedroom, Alison grabs the house phone and dials 999.

‘Which service do you require?’ asks the operator.

‘Police please, please hurry.’

Jamie is standing in the doorway, his hands lodged in his messy hair, grasping at the roots. ‘Where is he, Mum?’ Tears fill his eyes.

‘I don’t know, Jamie, I just don’t know.’ Her whole body is shaking. She grips the phone with both hands. ‘Think, try and think where he could be.’

The operator asks where Alison is calling from and takes her details.

‘Please help me, you must help me, I can’t find my baby, he’s gone, oh my god, he’s gone!’

‘Okay, I need you to sit down, and take a deep breath. Can you tell me what baby’s name is?’

‘Charlie, his name is Charlie Wood.’

‘And is there anyone else in the house with you?’

‘Yes, my eight-year-old son, Jamie,’ she reaches out and grasps his hand.

‘And where was Charlie before you went to sleep?’