The McDonald feast is torn up. Cant believe my eyes. Its like somebody got terrorist bombed. Whole cribs splattered. Mangled ass hamburger stomped into the carpet like brain. Bits a nugget and chicken tender flung across the chair like muscle. Fries smushed into everything like white flesh. And ketchup. Ketchup like you cant believe, striped on the walls and goobering the clocks. Before I recognize the McDonald wrappers I figure Robbie decided to skip past all that candy nonsense, and this mess is whats left of some poor ass child that came knocking early.

* * *

First thing I think is oh no. Did my Midget survive this? Cuz I tell you what, lettuce and tomato and onion and pickle looks a lot like little girl guts. But sisters making a soft noise and there she is squatted in the same corner as before except now shes got a chunk a McRib. Shes chewing and whispering to her dead ass flypaper flies and this time theres no doubt shes saying the name DAndre. And thats not all. I hear Antoine and Shonelle and Cassandra and Michael and Jemarcus and Sharise and Eric and Jada too. Naw, man. Thats too many. Too many fly names. Cuz what if all their asses were messed up bad as DAndre? What if Midges been carrying around every single one a them inside her head?

* * *

The flies are multiplying like crazy. Theres maggots all over little sisters green sweaties. Im losing my mind, man. Im losing my mind. I swear Im gonna jump in, grab them squirmy worms in my fists, and squeeze till they goop out. I dont give a dang if Midget gave them maggots names or not, theres no space left in the world for traumatic little fly babies. Lucky for me Ive got a little bit of sense left cuz it turns out theyre not maggots. Theyre sesame seeds. Midge musta ate a bun.

* * *

Robbie staggers in. Fat boys a whole new level a fat. Maybe its just my furious mind. But the Barenaked Ladies are stretched so tight its like they have Downs. Robbies weaving like hes drunk. Face red as hell, belching wet, stumbling like hes gonna take a header. His whole outfit is plastered with McDonald. Mustard and barbecue and mayonnaise and special sauce. Its like he took a bath in that junk. My favorite shirts stained fatal and hes got cheddar cheese caught in his hairdo. Theres just no doubt. No doubt at all. Fat boy promised us a feast and then feasted it all himself. Like a punk. Like a pig. Like a piggy ass pig face punk.

* * *