Longside the razor blade candies and all them useless apples our drug haul amounts to just a pinch. All Robbie scored was a baggie a blow, a strip a acid, and a few pills a dust. Im glad Midge made herself scarce cuz our supermilk dreams are fading fast. Robbie pitches his nice black jacket to the floor and the Barenaked Ladies are soaked to his titties. Tits, tits, my bad. Robbie crosses his hairless tattoo arms across his soaked tits and takes in the whole pitiful spread. I cant even look. First the candies were chose poor. Then there werent enough blades. Now we dont have enough drugs? The plans doomed to fail just like all Robbies plans fail.

* * *

But hold up. Robbie doesnt bust any dishes. Doesnt chuck any stools. Doesnt smack himself on the head either. You can see inspiring spirit fill up his eyes. Business didnt go like he hoped with #69 Kyle Ketchum but what does Robbie care, you know? Its just one more betrayer in a life full a betrayers like his coach and his folks and his lawyer and Little Lamb. Robbies inspiring eyes tell me hes gonna use that stack of betrayers like firewood to power his ass forward like Boromir son of Denethor Steward of Gondor wanted real bad to use the One Ring against Mordor. Boromir was wrong but I think Robbies right.

* * *

Its coming up on three oclock and fat boy knows time is tight. He puts his fists on his hips and starts nodding and before he says a word Im proud a the chubby fool. Lets be real. This is it, yo. Robbies clocking out after tonight. This is his masterpiece and when its over the uniforms are gonna show up and drag Robbies ass to the joint. But the point is hes not gonna back down, hes not gonna step off, hes gonna run this play like he used to run the football, and hes gonna make the end zone one more time, you best believe.

* * *

He starts delivering orders and this time? Robocop, Im honored to be one of his Mission Impossibles. Im gonna prove to Robbie how Im a friend worth claiming next time someone asks. Robbie says, screw it. We worked hard and we did up some candies pretty good. But you know whatll do them up better than blades or blow? Chemicals. My brain starts imagining mad scientist stuff till Robbie opens a cabinet and takes out a big jug a Draino. Fat boys being all wise and teachery like Jesus. If you just open your eyes, he says, everything you need is right in front of you.

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