We stumble our asses down a dark scary hall that has cool colored lights at the end. I dont know what Im expecting. Room full a gold? Bunch of G string shorties rubbing their butts on stripper poles? Well, its nothing like that but its still pretty tight, a big spacious ass room styled so correct its like weve entered a fantasy land. Blue neon lights glowing everywhere and freestyling from the speakers is none other than my boy Lil Wayne. Hey! Thats my joint right there!

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Im krumping before I even notice the bar stocked with a thousand alcohols and the walls with a bunch a life size pictures a soccer dudes. I dont know sharkweek about soccer but maybe I oughta learn! Rest a the rooms got foosball and a pool table shaped like a stop sign and wait, wait, hold up. Dang, robocop! This crib has a ferret! Now I wish Midget had come after all cuz little sister enjoys the hell outta wildlife. This bad ass ferret is bopping around to Lil Wayne and is wearing a scarf.

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Furniture is tight too. Big pink and yellow bean bags and chairs that look like eggs. Plus theres two pimped out lazyboys facing a projector screen playing Mass Effect the best I ever saw it played. The video game mastermind is this dude wearing a red do rag and doing his controller so fast its like hes got supernatural powers. Id be satisfied to stand here the rest a my life watching this genius do his thing but you know Robbie. Fat boys always got to be crapping the bed.

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Robbie introduces himself real formal. Kyle, I guess this is Kyle, he ignores it. Hes got some video game people he needs to slay. After some rad explosions he pauses the game and strolls to the bar to pour him some pistachio nuts. Kyles wearing a whitey like hes street but also PJ pants with palm trees and pineapples. He yawns like massacring all them computer men wiped him out. Oh and check this. Dudes fat. Like Robbie fat. How come his fat makes him look like a cool ass killer?

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<Whats wrong with your boy?> Kyle goes.

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<Oh, hes just dancing> Robbie says.

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Dancing? This is krumping, bitch! Maybe Kyles got a rule about no krumping in the crib and even though thats a bullcrap rule he does have a ferret in a scarf so you got to credit him for that. The neon in the room goes from blue to pink and Kyle sighs huge like hes sick a dealing with dumb asses and their krumping sidekicks. He doesnt even look at us when he does the menu. Doesnt confuse us like the little girl did with brand names either. Sugar, base, stones, caps, horse, bolt, bump, beans, A, E, TNT, dust, crystal, reefer. He rattles off prices too. Not bad for a dude half sleeping.

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