After Little Lamb the garage went nasty. It stinks like Robbie hid a poop. For some reason the floors are covered in dried mud. Also the Christmas lights are busted, every single one, so there isnt any magical feel left. Even the naked girlies Robbie taped up are so yellow and wrinkly theyre zombies compared to the sexy calendar witch and dont have effects on my wiener. Robbies beautiful flower table got wrecked too like somebody hulked out on it, probably Robbie, and thats where Midge is standing, balanced all dangerous on top a pile a twisted up metal. Whole thing makes no sense till I look up and see where Midges looking.

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Five strips a flypaper dangle off the ceiling. Flypaper has a fruity ass stink that doesnt stink like anything else. After Moms leg sores showed up, about a thousand flies moved into her room so I traveled my ass to Walgreen and bought flypapers from Dick Trickle but Moms said if I put flypapers up she was gonna vomit cuz flypaper is stone cold barbaric. I feel Moms on that one. Flypapers are unsightly for sure. They come out the tube all bright and yellow but these five in Robbies den for example are all black cuz a how many fly bodies are stuck on. A few a them bitches are still wiggling too. Midget a course is interested as hell, bouncing on tippy toes to get close.

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Robbie rolls in quick. Right off hes hollering at Midget to get her ass off the scrap pile but she acts like shes deaf so Robbie runs up and I get nervous cuz Robbies clumsy and what if he makes Midge fall? Life is full a mysterious coincidences cuz thats the exact sec I notice old Stonewalls ceramic head smashed all over the floor. My brain is strange cuz I get two opposite thoughts. How I dont want Midgets head to get busted up like Stonewall and also how Stonewalls busted head parts might squoosh good inside a Three Musketeer.

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But Barack Obama hero blood is running through these veins! Before Robbie can get there I put my arms around Midgets legs and lift her off the heap. She still snags three gnarly flypapers like its the most important thing she ever did. Dead ass flies start bouncing across my face and sticky paper is sticking to my lips and it tastes worse than coffee. Im not happy. Im not happy at all. But what else is a big brother supposed to do? I set Midge on the golden couch and she goes zooming inside with her flypapers like she thinks Im plotting to steal them. Meantime Robbies just standing there with his hands on his chest like he barely avoided a heart attack.

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He goes <I need to put a lock on this garage. It is not safe for children.>

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