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Chapters (38)
  1. Cover
  2. Also By Daniel Kraus
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Money
  7. Supermilk
  8. Bugs
  9. My Wiener
  10. Gwendolyn
  11. Midget
  12. Walgreen
  13. Dick Trickle
  14. Scrapbook
  15. Apples
  16. Dag
  17. Love
  18. My Wiener Part 2: The Two Towers
  19. Moms
  20. Phone Call
  21. Phone Call 2
  22. Punch
  23. Robbie
  24. Natural Light
  25. Flypaper
  26. Kyle
  27. Queen
  28. Fam
  29. Dragon
  30. Walgreen 2
  31. Dick Trickle 2
  32. Feast
  33. Shower
  34. Music
  35. The Fly
  36. My Wiener Part 3: The Return of the King
  37. Mrs F
  38. Ghosts

Speck said he scoped out Coach S at Hardees a couple years later and he wasnt handsome any more and Speck only knew him cuz a his Knights sweatie. His nose jacked as hell and one eye wonked way to the left. Nastiest of all was his mouth cuz the top jaw dont meet up correct anymore, not even after they wired the pieces back together. Supposedly Coach S had to smoosh his fries with a plastic fork before he pasted the potato paste between his big giant replacement teeth. Hardees people came by and gave him respect but he threw a napkin holder at them.

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The end a that game was game over for Robbie too. Might as well have raped Santa Claus. He was underage and his lawyer was all right so he did juvie instead a the clink but I think it was still pretty rough. Course I asked him if he ever told anybody the truth about what went down and Robbie didnt answer but I bet if he did spill it, it landed soft, you know what Im saying? Besides you cant have molester junk talked about on the streets and expect to have any peace.

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While Robbie was in juvie, people went wild on his parents crib. At some point I guess his folks had enough of all the spray paint wieners and cat death and fire bottles and trucked their asses out. Did it fast too. Left all their nice junk, all the incredible clocks, not to mention the whole actual physical house. Problem is, a house stills got bills. And Robbie was just a dumb juvenile. Theres wasnt a whole lot a job prospecting for the boy that did Coach S, you know? Even them that did hire Robbie ended up firing his ass, cuz Robbies brain has problems from all those years a concussions.

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Robbie has a library card. Yeah, it surprised me too. One day he bused his fat ass there and computered till he got a page describing how concussions mess you up. Dag had to read it out loud cuz Robbie says white paper blinds his eyes. I know that sounds made up but it turns out its one a the symptoms! It said so right on the page! Dag read the whole thing and dang if it didnt describe Robbie perfect. It said how concussioned people cant focus and overreact about everything and cant sleep proper either. They get worried and depressed and emotional and mad, and when they get older like Robbie they get dementia.

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Robbie goes <Im officially crazy, I guess.>

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