Once there was this football game, right? Folks around these parts are stone cold nuts about high school football. Home team is named the Knights and what folks like to do is come to the games dressed up in armor. Right next to the field theres this hill down where kids go during the game to get high and Robbie, hes just ten years old, he goes there and rolls up on some big teenage fools messing with a tiny little white boy. Their armor and helmets are cardboard like usual but the relevant thing to the story is how their sword isnt a prop. Its a genuine ass sword. Nobody knows where they snagged a real sword but thats not relevant to the story.

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Robbie hides his ass before they find his ass. Fools a course keep playing rough with that unfortunate ass child and sure enough things turn accidental and the sword goes right through the side of his neck. You know the perpetrators fled that scene quick. But Robbie crawls his young ass out and investigates. Situations dire as hell. Child is jiggling around, squirting blood as tall as Robbie. If you saw Lord of the Rings you know what kind a damage a sword can do. Even if its not a legendary sword like Glamdring or Andúril. Even if its just some regular orc sword. The Fullerton child is bleeding out and there isnt a single pothead or junkie juvenile around to help.

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So Robbie takes off his shirt and wraps it around the childs neck and does it careful without strangulation. Then he picks that child up. My brain cant even cope. But Robbie picks up that bleeding child and climbs up that steep hill and makes it to the Knights field where theres always a ambulance waiting for footballers to break their legs. That Fullerton child poured blood like a keg but he lived, man, he lived.

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First time Robbie told me that story, fat boy was proud. Dang straight! If I pulled that Superman stunt off Id be telling my peeps about it every morning noon and night! Robocops would start showing me respect and shorties would be fighting for my wiener. Crossing all those yard lines with that child in his arms was the greatest moment in Robbies whole life. Picture in the paper and everything. But Robbie? Robbies the most confounding adult person I know. These days he doesnt like to speak on it. You bring it up, he hits you.

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