So me and Midge do our thing and Moms views the same shows like shes studying for a test. Give me five bucks and Ill sing you the theme songs start to finish. Dr Phil, The View, Maury. Moms watches so many episodes she hallucinates them. Like when shes viewing Price is Right I hear her answer questions nobody asked, like she goes <Thank you, Drew, you look very handsome yourself!> Thats all right cuz I guess Imaginary Drew Carey says nice stuff to her. But Judge Mathis, hes a mean ass bulldog that says stuff that makes Moms cry. And even Judge Mathis isnt as bad as Mario Lopez. Mario Lopez is this Extra TV mightyducker that talks so cold blooded to Moms that she just screams and screams. Too bad hes not real, otherwise Id jack him up. Instead me and Midge cover our ears and hope Moms turns the channel.

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Hearing emotions come out a Moms room all day makes my brain itch so bad I cant deal and thats how my abs got so tight. Dag stole some mags from Walgreen and one had a story called Look Great Shirtless and it turned out to be the magical thing to help my itch. What I learned is you have to Flatten, Shape, and Strengthen if you want a Lean, Hard Waist and Six Pack Abs. That sounded all right so while Moms was doing her TV I started doing the Reverse Wood Chop and Half Seated Leg Circle and Prone Cobra and Rock n Roll Core and Side Jackknife and Oblique Side Bend and at first it wiped me out good. After a time I was repping so hard I only let up during commercials. Thats the best time to rest anyhow cuz Moms doesnt cry or scream or nothing during commercials and if I imagine real hard its like were living in Pinebluff Glenn Estates.

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The only time I go inside Moms room these days is for Ellen. We love that dancing bitch. I lay out on the bed with my abs burning cuz a how I been obliterating my fat and I laugh like Im insane. Moms puts her hand on my back and I can tell shes laughing too. We have us a real nice time but one hour is all I can stand. That room stinks foul. Smells like rotten fruit and bandaids. In January Moms made it all the way to the kitchen to fix back to school toast but she didnt do her robe up good and I peeped a bunch a sores up the insides a her legs. Couldnt eat for crap after that. Put sugar on my toast and gave it to Midge.

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