Robbie looks at me like hes disappointed. Jody, he says, dont you know better than to be saying <titties>? No mature ass man uses the word <titties>. Truth is I havent ever heard that piece a knowledge before. So Im like, for real? Robbie frowns wise like Elrond Lord of Rivendell and tells me the word grown ass men use is <tits> and dang, I do have to admit that sounds highly sophisticated.

* * *

When I first knew Robbie he was sexing Little Lamb who he said was his girlfriend though I don’t know. You ask me, Little Lamb was punking his ass or stealing off his ass or something nefarious cuz she sure didnt seem to have any liking for fat boy. She vanished from the crib pretty quick and that was too bad cuz I had a load a questions for her about how foxy bitches think. After Little Lamb stopped coming round, Robbie wouldnt talk about her. He wouldnt even admit her ass even existed. You even said the word lamb, you got popped.

* * *

So fat boys the last person I want romantic help from but now Im curious what else hes got. I mean, I aint ever even kissed a bitch. Robbie struts his yard proud as hell, rubbing his gut like he thinks its sensual. First thing, he says, if you want to be hitting it with honeys then you have to compliment them constant. Yo, I do that! I explain to Robbie how for example I told Dag shes real expert at thieving. Robbie rubs his forehead and says, no, you got to be complimenting her physicality. Like <You have very pretty eyes> and <Your lips are beautiful> and <You have wonderful tits>. Yeah, that makes sense. I wonder if thats how he scored Little Lamb. I swear I start scanning the junk piles for a pen to write this stuff down!

* * *

Robbie explains how after you say compliments you have to impress her with skills. Like if youre skilled at busting heads you finds yourself a chump ass sucker and give him a beat down. Or if youre skilled at hunting then you trap a rabbit and skin it and eat it, and dont forget to give shorty a piece.

* * *

Even if youre skilled at some boring ass crap like reading you get your ass to the library and rent a stack of thick ass books and when shortys like <What are we doing tonight?> you go like <Yo, bitch, Im reading!>

* * *